#but sometimes you gotta tell yourself to let it go
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Shimmer Head
Ekko x reader
6k+ words
Fem reeader
Hazbin hotel Easter egg included. Addicted song describes reader.
Warning: suicidal thoughts and actions, drug use not by choice though.
Im sorry it took so long yall Iâve been crocheting blankets for Christmas and life has been lifting with work
You were an anomaly, or at least thatâs what Silco called you. Apparently he saved you at birth; one calm walk through Zaun's lanes, and your mom was an overdosing shimmer head who was getting her last fix before she pushed you out. You survived. This was something Silco never thought possible; even when you looked like a shivering, whining skeleton, you were strong, a survivor, and from that day on, you were his daughter.
As life went on, you got stronger, faster, and a little more insane; your eyes changed, looking like a wild mix of two different colors. You changed so much it confused you every day to see yourself. How the voices in your head would go from telling you to slaughter everyone to offing yourself.
Silco had you microdosed with shimmer ever since you were a newborn till now, and you handled it each and every time. You were his creation, his wild card. Even as a child, he had you by his side with torture, robbing, and meetings. Youâve done it all. There were days the voices really did get to you; sometimes it was better to hurt yourself rather than to crash. You can remember the times Silco had to stop you from hurting him and yourself. The scars on your arms, the bloodstains left on your clothes, the burn scars from throwing bone down without any care, ready to give it all up. Either you survived, or Silco was just in time.
So when you first met Jinx, your first thoughts were, This poor kid, sheâs just a dreamer.
But she followed you around everywhere, calling you sis, saying sheâd never leave your side, sheâd never leave you no matter what. Not like her sister did. You didnât believe her; how could you? No one but Silco ever saw you; heâs the only one that loved you.
Until she followed you to a club one night.
You spin around in the chair, listening to the grungy punk music, drunk, horny prowlers, angry wannabes, and goofy dancers mixing into the crowd. You sit in your chair in the corner of the club, drink in one hand, revolver in the other. One bullet, one drinkâit was all a game to you. The gun clicked three times, and you took three shots before it was snatched from your hand. And lo and behold, it was your new shadow coming to ruin the fun.
âHey, what gives, Blue Jay!â
âHow are you going to be the big shot legacy Silco says if you're dead, dumbass!â
âItâs none of your business!â
âWeâre family now, so yeah, you are!â
âYou going to love me even if I try to kill Silco in his sleep?â
âIâd still love you even if you killed me with him.â
Family, huh?
âFine.â
For the first time you didnât take your game too far, or get fucked up and pass out behind the bar; you didnât even have a mental breakdown.
At least the voices got quiet for a while.
After a while you started to think of Jinx as a sister. Someone you could confide in, someone who gets you. Was Silco the best dad? Nah, but he was all you had. Now you know he had Jinx too. You thought everything was ok; you could be happy with your found family; even if you were broken, you still had people to fix you up, so everything was fine.
At least you genuinely believed everything was alright.
Until Jinxâs actual sister showed up, calling her Powder, the hugging, the crying, the family reunion was cute. You havenât seen Jinx this vulnerable in a while. Everything was calm until some Piltie came out, and then the moment was gone. Jinx threatens the redhead with the gun, and boom, the Firelights had you all surrounded.
âJinx, if you want your sister back, you gotta be smart about this.â The silence you got back let her know she was thinking up something stupid.
Smoke and ash covered the air, bullets flying and fighting at every turn. The firebugs just didnât know when to quit, always trying to get into business that isnât theirs. It was fun knocking them off their boards every once in a while. Youâve faced them before with Jinx killed a couple of times; you didnât kill any of them, though. Never had the guts to really kill innocent people; you didnât want to know what the voices would say if you did. You didnât want to lose yourself all the way.
As always, Jinx is shooting bullets every which way in the sky, which wasnât bad, but using bombs to blow up the platform is very bad. Your body hurt, your ears were ringing, and you could barely breathe. You tried calling out for Jinx but got no answer. You finally dragged yourself up; you can see some fire bugs down, but you couldnât see Jinx. Couldnât see her sister. Didnât even see the body lying dead somewhere.
Huh, you were all alone.
Then it dawned on you: Jinx did it on purpose. She really was a genius, truly. She blew up the platform, making a distraction; a lot of people were down and out. Nobody could see what was happening; some too injured to chase.
Looks like she could only carry her sister to safety, though.
Youâll never leave me no matter what, huh?
Hehehehehe, yeah right!
You could finally breathe again and got the strength to stand up. It was all just so funny, really.
Bunch of bullshit hahahahaha
You didnât notice anything going on around you, the shuffling of people standing; you didnât feel all the cautious eyes on you. Not that you cared; all you cared about were the voices screaming at you so loud you could swear your ears were bleeding.
Walking towards the edge of the platform is easy. Turning around and giving a mock salute to the firelights with a smile on your face was easy. But dropping to your death knowing the last thing playing in your headphones was your and Jinx's song, it fucking burned every lyric you tried to sing just turned to ash in your mouth.
But at least now the voices would stop forever. The air rushed through your ears and then nothing.
Out like a light
You woke up in an eerily dark room; honestly, it was predictable. Down to the moldy smell, the silence, and the creepy guy in the corner with a mask. And you honestly shouldâve been more mad at yourself for getting saved; you couldnât even die in peace!
âWhy am I alive, dammit!â
The silence was so annoying; thereâs no need to try and be intimidating. Youâve seen worse. You hate people who try those tactics; you canât torture someone whoâs already tortured every day. Geez, just kill them if they donât tell you what you want.
âLook, Iâm not going to tell you shit, so just kill me already!â
And then the mask comes off. You donât know him, but you knew him, apparently jinxâs past. The boy savior, she calls him; he looks just like she said he would. You also remember what she told you about him. âBetter watch out; the boy savior likes to think he can save everybody.â
Ok, you can deal with a wannabe hero.
âYour on shimmer. You are an addict; Slico has you do his dirty work, and he gives you your next fix. Am I right?â
Youâre really fucking wrong. Scratch that; you didnât want to deal with the wannabe hero.
âSo how about you tell me what I need to know, and you get to lay low somewhere secret and get off that shit before you try and die again while Silco just replaces you?â
The voices started to get louder, your throat tight and blood dripping from your palms for how tight you started to squeeze them. His words were like acid on your skin. Just who did this asshole think he was?
âFirst of all, dipshit, Iâm his daughter! Ok, not some random street rat shimmer head he feeds. Second of all, shimmer makes people stronger. I should know; came right out of my druggie mom, still living and breathing, full of shimmer! Iâve been injected with it since Silco adopted me! He says Iâm perfect; he says I'm his legacy. I donât do his dirty work; I help him make Zaun better! So you're dead fucking wrong, wannabe!â
Now heâs looking at you like youâre crazyâŠ. And you're used to that.
âThis is better? Our people are dying all around us. Kids are abandoned! People are sick and starving. How is this better?â
âBlame Piltover! Duh!â
âItâs Piltover. And Silco, are you crazy??!!â
That word. It always did something to you. You didnât care when people looked at you like you were... but calling you crazy? Different story. Something that made all the voices laugh, an itch in your brain that told you to break, hurt, destroy, kill, and show them your insane.
âFUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU! Hahahahahahahahaha. All of Piltover and Zaun is going to burn you, and your fucking bugs are going to be ash! Iâm not crazy. Iâm perfect. Iâm perfect he saidââ
Your music!?! Where were your headphones?!!?
You were so numb, in a really dark place, you never fully remembered how your episodes went. When that singed guy injected you with your first microdose of shimmer, all you remembered was the screaming and Silco whispering how proud he was. But Ekko would remember it all even in his dreams. How you banged your head against the pole you were tied against over and over again. Crying tears of shimmer while laughing hysterically until blood dripped on the side of your head. Only to end up sobbing.
The voices screamed and screamed and screamed. Until they stopped, they never just stopped without music or silco. And you never had this heavy feeling over your ears without your headphones.
Oh, itâs this Ekko guy. What is he doing? Why is he holding his hands over your face? Why is he looking at you like that?
âIâm sorry. Youâre not crazy. I promise, okay? Breath for me nice and slow.â
This was nice: everything quiet, everything nice and warm. This is new, huh?
âHey!? Waiââ
Out like a light again
âSheâs a danger to the base!â
âWe can help her. Sheâs not like Jinx! Sheâs the product of a bad situation. Sheâs not with Silco because she wants to be; itâs because itâs all she knows.â
âSheâs a mess; keeping her here is like bringing bullshit to our door!â
âHeâs been injecting her with shimmer since she was an infant! We canât kick her out!â
âCan y'all shut up sleeping here?â
Bat Guy and Ekko just stared at you.
âLook, I donât care what you do to me; can I just have my damn headphones? The voices, ya know, theyâre telling me to escape and kill everyone here. Soooooo, my earphones, pretty please.â
The boy wonder hands them over and puts them over your ears. And even with no music playing, everything feels peaceful. The whole time, he and Bat Boy are still going back and forth; this time you couldnât hear it, though. Finally you get silence, if only for a moment. You almost bit Ekko when he moved one of them back off.
âLook, letâs compromise: you get a little freedom, supervised. And we get one shimmer shipment location⊠not the factory, just the shipment.â
âNo bullshit babysitters; itâs you or nothing.â
â...fine.â
You couldâve told him to fuck off and die. Make him eat his sappy little words. But after the way he held your ears, he looked like a kicked puppy for making you freak out. How softly he said sorry. It was different; it was new. You didnât do soft, not that much.Silco always told you to play your enemies, so maybe giving a little bait wouldnât be too bad.
âFine, boy wonder, Iâll give you a shipment thatâs all.â
âThank you.â
There he goes, looking at you like that again.
Like some kind of puppy. What a sucker.
Ekko took you outside, but you didnât want to socialize, so he kept you both at a good distance from the others. While taking you out of the base, you didnât want to look at anyone. If you saw any leering faces and judging eyes, you knew youâd lash out.
Oddly enough, you didnât want to smack the fuck out of Ekko's face. Maybe a little bit, not a lot. You didnât know what it was, but Ekko was calming; his presence was like a warmth in the dark murk of Zaun. You didnât understand how he could be so... normal with all of this around him.
Maybe it was the fact that he actually took you out of the hideout and onto a roof to look over Piltover. You couldâve knocked him out, taken his board, and run. Why is he so stupidly trusting? âHow do you do it?â He raises an eyebrow. âDo what?â You raise one back âBe so happy-go-lucky when we live in a place like Zaun.â That made him stop his steps, and he looks serious; you havenât seen him unless heâs talking about shipments.
âI have to make a change for the people who canât help themselves; I want to give people something to live for; the firelight is my way of doing that.â
And there he goes again, making your mind feel funny again. It sounds like he means it; everything Ekko says always sounds genuine, but somehow you canât bring yourself to believe him.
âAlright then, help me by teaching me how to ride one of those hoverboard things.â Ekkoâs eyes get wide, and his mouth even opens a little. âYou want to learn? Iâve been trying to get you to do that for a week. What changed?â You didnât want to let him know the real reason, so you decided to play it off.
âJust thought I could kick your butt at something, boy wonder,â he scoffed. You knew he hated the nickname; it was too fun teasing him to stop, though.
âAlright, alright. If youâre so confident, then Iâll teach you. But donât say I didnât warn you when you end up falling off a few times.â
âIâll be a pro; just you wait and see.â
You were in fact not a pro. Your knees were scuffed, and the dirt on your clothes was a testament to just how many times you hit the dirt. âSorry this is taking so long; I feel fucking stupid.â Ekko grabs your hands and pulls you up, grabbing the board. âDonât; it takes everyone a minute to learn this is no different. How do you think I feel? I made it; I had to test it and fall a lot.â You give him a nod, deciding to take the board back with a little more confidence this time. âWhat a boy genius you are,â you got a snort in return.
âNow, remember, hoverboards are pretty sensitive. You have to find your balance and keep it steady. And be careful not to lean too far to one side or the other, or youâll tip over.â Ekko watches you carefully as you mount the hoverboard, his arms crossed over his chest. The hoverboard begins to move forward as you lean, slowly at first, but steadily gaining speed.
You could hear Ekko yelling behind you, âThere you go, youâre doing great! Just keep your balance and focus on the path ahead.â
âWhat about turns!? What if I fall??â
âDonât worry; Iâll be right here to catch you if you fall.â
You got the hang of it after a while; you both went back to the base riding your hoverboard and even racing some of the kids. It was a good time, no responsibilities, no expectations. It still hurt you; there was no Silco, but at least you had distractions.
Ekko seemed to show up when he wasnât asked; itâs like he knew when to butt into people's business.
He was there during your worst moments of loneliness. When the darkness was too much, when the voices kept repeating the insults louder and crueler. Telling you to kill yourself, that you're nothing, worthless, not good enough, burn the firelight base to the ground, and watch everyone around you die. Youâll only end up alone anyway. The smell of ash and blood, you could remember it by heart. Tears pouring out of your eyes continuously, you didnât even sob. You had nothing to be sad about in the moment. You just naturally cried, and all you could do was scream, hoping Iâd stop. Sitting in the dark waiting for it all to end. Thinking, hoping that just maybe one day youâd be blessed enough not to wake up.
It wasnât until you felt Ekko's heavy gloves on your shoulder. Asking if you were ok, if you needed anything, if you needed him. Looking at you like you're the only thing that mattered in the moment. Moving to sit next to you, his shoulder lightly touching yours. âYou donât have to talk; just know Iâm right here with you. Iâm not going anywhere.â Those days were hard, but it always felt nice to have Ekko lying on the floor next to you, no words, just his company.
He even let you into his little workshop. His words: âYou donât have to knock. If you need me, just come inâ Youâd hand him his tools and use all the knowledge you had on tech to help. You used to make a lot of trinkets that helped your day-to-day life. You didnât like to make weapons like Jinx, but you could make a mean bomb. Youâve even fallen asleep to his tinkering and his little nerd-out moments. âYou're such a dork.â He wouldnât even take his eyes off his invention.
âShush if you're not going to help.â
âTouchy touchy. Here, let me look, boy genius.â When you actually put in effort to help him, heâd look at you from the side of his eye, and youâd pretend like you didnât notice the small smile creeping up on his face. Sitting by his side until late at night, making new things to help out in the base. Both your giggles and the metal clanking were the only things heard at 3 am.
And thatâs how it was for a month. Ekko is coming in, trying to coax you into giving up Silco; you give him a little info, and he folds and gives you what you want for the day. You had a good thing going. So whyâd he want to ruin it now? You were fine seeing the kids; you made small talk with one of the firelight girls, but thatâs it. Everyone else you dealt with in passing. So why was Ekko so set on you interacting with more people?
âHow about we hang out with the group for a bit?â
âIâm fine; I hate people.â
âLook, Iâm just trying toââ
âI donât need help! I don't need friends! IâI need my dad; I needâŠ. I need to feel in control. It still feels like Iâm a fucking prisoner even if you say Iâm not.
Ekko doesnât talk for a minute; you can tell heâs trying to choose his words wisely, his white locs covering his face. âI donât know what you see in Silco, even if he took you inâŠ. You canât tell me you truly see the good in what heâs doing.
You didnât answer him. Afraid youâll say something youâll regret by lashing out. He didnât get it; he didnât get you! Silco was your dad; Silco helped you ignore the voices; he loved you even if he had a funny way of showing it.
âHeâs not the best dad in the world, but heâs my dad. He helped me when I had no one. Doesnât that count for something?â
Ekko didnât answer you; itâs like he wanted to argue, but he knew you needed this.
âJust... just give it a chance; you may find your people.â
If he heard your scoff, he didnât react to it.
I donât have people; all I have is my dad and myself, even when I donât love myself.
Ekkoâs soft words pulled you out of your thoughts.
âYou have me too.â
âUntil how long, hmmm, till I run out of information?â
âThatâs noââ
âHey, Ekko, tell me how I survived the day I jumped.â
Ekko went back silent; he was giving you that look again, and you hated it. Itâs like he saw everything within you, and it made you feel naked, like you couldnât hide.
âOh that⊠flew down to save you.â
âWhy?â
âWhen you smiled at us before you fell, I thought you were asking for help.â
You giggled at that; only Ekko would think of saving his enemy who tried to off themselves in front of him. âYour something else, Sunflower.â
âSunflower!? What kind of flower is that? We donât have those in Zaun.â
âAlright, take me out or whatever it is you want.â
âD-donât say it like that. Come on, Iâll introduce you to the kids.â
You never knew Zaun could look like this, or even have a tree, and now the name firelights makes sense: nothing but a lush green tree with the fireflies all around it. Itâs peaceful, plush; itâs nice. You got a few looks here and there, but itâs fine; ekkos here, and you werenât forced to hang out with who you didnât want to.
And thatâs how you spent your day bonding with Ekko and even the kids; they werenât as judgy, and you appreciated it. Even when they had questions, it didnât feel pointed. âWhy do you always wear those things on your head?â your headphones; you never took them off, never could bring yourself to part from the one thing that helps stop the voices, no matter how battered and dingy they are. âTheyâre headphones. They help me when Iâm scared or upset.â âOooooh, I get it; my mask helps me! Makes me feel stronger!â âGood, use your strength to become the best firelight you can be.â
Thatâs how the day started and ended: you playing with the kids, running around, playing tag and hide and seek until the night came. The kids gathered around, using common objects around them to make a little band; music brings a lot of the firelights together, and somebody brings an actual scrap-made speaker playing louder music. Some even start to dance. And in this moment you couldnât help but think maybe Ekko was right; maybe these people were ok.
You grab the overworking leader by the arm and pull him with you. âWhat is it?â
âCome on, Ekko, letâs dance!â
âDance?â
âYeah, you scared boy wonder?â
âNot at all, but um⊠why?â
âWho doesnât like dancing!â
Thatâs when the music hits and nothing else matters. Ekko moves effortlessly, his body flowing in perfect harmony with yours. He keeps you close, his chest pressed against yours as he twirls you around. The world outside seems to fade away, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble. Your bodyâs moving in rhythm as the music gets Ekko pulls you closer, one hand resting on your waist while the other takes hold of your hand, spinning you. He begins to sway gently, guiding you in a slow dance. Holding each otherâs sides, swaying back and forth. Every minute you got to look in Ekkos's eyes, seeing him smile at you like that did something to you; he really was something else.
You couldnât let those eyes shake you, though. You knew it was only a matter of time before it all went to hell; no one really gives a damn about you, no one except Silco. But maybe if you were a better daughter, he wouldâve found you by now.
Ekko could only look at you in confusion when you walked away from him, away from the gathering. He thought it was a good moment that he was finally getting through to you. But he wasnât one to push, not when he knew what youâd been through, but he followed you up the stairs to the treehouse.
And when he found you, the silence was heavy but comfortable. Thatâs how it was with you too, and youâd never say it out loud, but he made you feel safe.
âDo you want to stay here?â
You timidly glanced into his eyes before you took a deep breath. âI donât know,â you looked away, closing your eyes, trying to stop yourself from getting out of hand. Ekko hummed, leaving more silence in between you both, and then he asked another, âEven if you know Silco loves you, it isnât healthy.â
You opened your eyes as a bitter taste remained in your mouth. Your face contorted into different expressions as you debated with yourself on whether or not you would share.
âMy mother was a shimmer addict; she had me right as she overdosed. And Silco found me; I was different; I survived even with a small, premature body full of shimmer. He said I was unique, that I could change all of Zaun. I believe him. Iâve done a lot of great things⊠at least I think so. Even if you donât agree with him, he saved me.
âBut you're not okayâ
âDonât tell me what I am! Iâm perfect as I am; he said so! I may not be normal, but I am living instead of surviving, Ekko! Canât you see that?â
âI do. But you know what else I see? I see how happy you are riding your board; I see how sweet you are with the kids, especially when you steal yarn from the top side and crochet stuff for them; I see how you care for Raven when you think sheâs not looking by finding her favorite things to surprise her without letting her know it was you; I see how you truly care for the people you're loyal to. You touch people's lives and leave light in your wake. I see how beautiful you are inside and out. Youâre your own person, not what Silcos made you! You can do better than what he has you doing.â
âIs that what youâve come up with in your mind? That Iâm just this lost, misguided girl who was groomed to be fucked up? News flash! Boy Wonder, Iâm in Zaun. I was going to be fucked up regardless of Silco! Who do you think I am, huh? Donât act like you know me, 'cause you donât! Stop trying to change me into something Iâm not! Iâm not some knockoff version of Jinx you can fix just because I decided to be nice a few times. What?! Iâm your little powder passion project. Couldnât save her, so youâre trying to save me because we both have family, daddy, and abandonment issues?!â
You knew it was a low blow, but even though she left you, you couldnât help but think about Jinxâs words, taking them to heart, and everything she told you. âHe likes to think he can save everyone.â
He narrowed his eyes at your response; you could see him clenching his fist and clenching his teeth. His eyes no longer looking at you with acceptance or worry like you were used to, only irritation
âI wasnât trying to change her; I thought she was in danger. I didnât know she went with that piece of shit willinglyâŠ. I thought I could save her; I needed to because she was my friend.â
âOhhhhh, thatâs right, youâre the boy savior!â
His eyes went from a glare to cold and lifeless.
âFuck you. You know nothing; you only know Jinx's pain but not mine. Youâre right about one thing, though: you and Jinx are similar. So I donât know why I was stupid enough to try and help you; just like her, you donât deserve it.â That just pissed you off more.
âI didnât ask you to help me! I didnât ask for you to save me from offing myself! I didnât ask for you to try and fucking fix me or my life!â
âIâm not trying to change you; Iâm trying to give you something better! A chance! Silco didnât give you a chance; he used you! Your work, a tool! If you survived on shimmer this long since birth, you're proof that his product can lead to something greater than he thought. But itâs at the expense of you and your health.â His voice lowers, his breathing heavy. âPlease⊠tell me you see it. You have to know that keeping you on shimmer as long as he has wasnât to help you. Only him.â
In the back of your mind you knew; you always knew. And yet the faith he put in you gave your heart love youâve never felt before. How he always stated he was proud of you, said you were the best thing to happen in his life, that you're his legacy, his daughter. But what was the cost for your heart, suicidal thoughts, breakdowns, nightmares, and dissociation? A mother that never wanted you, a father that loved you but not enough to see your pain, only your potential. âHey Ekko, thank you. For saving me and making me realize. I donât want people to end up like me... because Iâm not ok.â
âThen let me heâââ. He didnât get to finish before you pushed back, making him crash into the tree behind him. You jumped from the stairs on the tree; you didnât care about the fall because itâs the freest you ever felt. You could hear the other fireflies yelling, but the adrenaline and the wind in your ears helped you ignore them. As soon as you fell, you pushed forward, not caring about the pain in your legs and ankles. Grabbing a hoverboard before speeding off and out of the hideout.
When Ekko got up, he didnât chase you, nor did he call out for you; all he could do was watch. Scar rushed up to him, looking at him expectingly. âSheâs going to go back to Silco!? We have to catch her before she rats us out!?â Ekko didnât react to his words, only looking forward to where you had run. âEkko!â And when Ekko finally looked at Scar, he just shrugged. âSheâll be back when sheâs ready.â âSheâs not coming back." Ekko, sheâs been waiting for an opportunity to escape, and we let her!â
Ekko just shook his head, picking up something off the ground. âSheâll be back.â âHow do you know!?â Ekko moved his hand in front of Scar, showing him what he picked up. âShe left her headphones.â Scar just scoffed. âThat doesn't mean anything.â Ekko just shook his head. âTrust me, if you knew her like I do, youâd know it meant everything.â
You wandered around one of Silco's biggest shimmer factories, where most of his shipments go. You walked around the rooftop, pacing back and forth. âIâm addicted to the madness~â You turned on your headphones, singing along, tuning out the noise below, scummy workers and henchmen everywhere. âLet me leave my soul a-burning; Iâll be breathing it in.â Sneaking down through the crawl spaces, you laid out bombs everywhere you could stick them. You set up trap after trap after trap after trap. You knew this place like the back of your hand, so it was easy to get in and get out.
âIâm addicted to the feeling, getting higher than the ceiling~â This place had meaning to you⊠this was the first place Silco took you when he felt like you were ready to work for him. The first place where he showed you the ropes was the same place he had you start your injections. The same place you had your first breakdown. This felt like a goodbye to the past, the pain, everything that made you feel inadequate. You donât know what youâd be without Silco; you knew the voices would never fully leave, but at least with this you could let your dad know you were ok and that you were going your own way.
âJust concede and give in to your inner demons again~â You hit the button, and it all blew upâthe building, the workers.
And you too. Hopefully, Silco can forgive you for not saying goodbye.
Itâs been 3 months; Ekko waited for you to return. But after a while he could only assume youâd either gone your own way or something terrible happened. Missions still happened with no sign of you with Silco's goons, and thereâs talk about the huge explosion that happened, so he couldnât pinpoint what had happened to you; all he had to give him comfort about your departure was your headphones. He never touched them, only keeping them by his bedside with your memory lingering with him whenever there in his sight. But today at 12 am, he finally had the courage to tinker with them, hopefully fixing them up.
He was concentrating so hard he didnât hear the door open; it was Scar. âYour stray is back,â and as soon as he came, he left.
âHey sunflower,â he jumped and turned around so quickly you thought heâd fall out of the chair. He did slip a little as he rushed to hug you, but you couldnât bring yourself to laugh.
âMissed me?â He squeezed your torso, chuckling a little. âMissed your humor, not your bullshit.â You poked at his side, making him jump. âLies, you missed that too. Everyone else is boring.
He pulls you over to his patched-up couch, both of you plopping down. You lean into his touch, laying on his shoulder. Neither of you said anything; you didnât need to. You donât know what you expected when it came to his reaction. But youâre glad Ekko didnât pressure you to talk about anything or question what youâd been doing. Youâd tell him one of these days. The withdraws, breakdowns, you almost ending it all. But right now you just wanted to enjoy his company; being alone for months took its toll, so itâs good to be back in a warming presence.
It took everything in you to not go back to Silco, to everything that was easier. But you pulled it off, and you hope Ekko could see that you really are trying. âWas it you?â He spoke so softly you thought you just imagined it, but Ekkos looking into your eyes let you know it was real. And you knew what he meant; your explosion was nothing but destruction, but you wanted to leave that behind you. So you said the only thing that was closest to the truth. âIâm following my own path now, Ekko.â When you looked back at him, it almost took your breath away. Those stupid, big, brown eyes looking at you with so much warmth you couldâve melted right then and there. It made you sick.
âIâm happy for you... So youâre just visiting?â
âGeez, trying to kick me out already, huh?â He shook his head. âOf course not. I justâŠ. I want you to be happy and go your own way, even if itâs not here with me.â You looked away, biting your cheek. âSo what if I wanted to be happy here?â.
âThen Iâd make a space for you right now; youâre always welcome.â
âEven in your room~â
âYeah, you can stay with me if you want.â
You felt all your thoughts falter and come to a stop once the words were out of his mouth. You paused and looked at him, face red. âEasy there; we donât want everyone jealous that the big boss in charge is playing favorites.â He pulls you so close, too close. His nose and forehead touching your own. You donât know this Ekko, Ekko who always was too shy to flirt back, who was always the gentleman, who only gave fleeting touches like he was afraid to break you. âYou are my favorite; youâll always be someone special to me.â You couldnât help pushing his buttons, not wanting him to see your face reddening.
âLeaders shouldnât show favoritism, ya know. Iâm going to need something for me to keep quiet; wouldnât want to hurt the kiddies feelings, would you? out of all the things you expected Ekko to say, you didnât expect what heâd do.
Ekko leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss. Itâs slow and tender; the brush of his lips is so soft. He takes his time, savoring the feel of your lips against his, pouring all of his love and affection into the kiss. He leaned back and smiled warmly as he continued to gently caress your cheek. He looked at you with a soft, affectionate expression, his gaze filled with adoration thatyouâd noticed before. You just never had the guts to call him out on it.
âIs that enough to keep you quiet?â
âIt's a start.â
#arcane#ekko#ekko arcane#ekko league of legends#ekko lol#ekko x reader#leauge of legends#the arcane spoilers#firelight ekko#ekko x you#jinx arcane#arcane silco#silco#silco and jinx#arcane league of legends#arcane lol#arcane ekko#arcane fanfic#arcane fandom
137 notes
·
View notes
Text
bf!timo <3
I just couldnât get this out of my head , timo wiggled his way in and hasnât left since. heâs so yum . . . (fem!reader)
timo has a possessive streak when it comes to you. he doesnât take kindly to anyone eyeing you or being overly friendly with his woman. and while heâs not the biggest lovey dovey person in public, preferring to keep those soft moments for just the two of you, heâs not above pulling you onto his lap at a bar, letting his hands wander a little too low on your back and pulling you in for a deep, claiming kiss. just to send a little message.
timo is a big boy and he uses that to his advantage for sure. loves manhandling you (gently ofc). like just pulling you and maneuvering you how he wants. in and out of the bed room.
his hand on the back of your neck!!! just gently caressing the skin beneath your ear. playing with the little strands of hair at the back of your neck. squeezing gently when he wants your attention. or just moving your head himself. (his hands are bigđ©)
protective. so so protective. makes it his personal mission at all times to make sure youâre safe, happy and healthy. even if he is a little assertive in doing so sometimes.
âitâs been three hours, you gotta eat,â he insists, nudging the plate closer that heâs heated up at least three different times.
âiâm almost done, I just gotta finish this one partââ you say but the words get stuck in your throat as timo grabs your laptop and puts it on the opposite end of the table, nudging your plate in front of you
âthe work will still be there after you eat something. so eat,â he orders, voice stern but not rude.
still continuing the protective part. he absolutely follows the sidewalk rule. and after the 729202 time of you forgetting to put your seatbelt on, instead of gently coaxing âseatbeltâ each time, he just reaches over and does it for you now.
he almost gets mean when you donât take care of yourself because your health and happiness is so important to him. heâs definitely the âdid you drink water today?â bf after you tell him you have a headache
âI donât know who you think you are that you can just go all day without drinking water and be absolutely dandy,â he mutters as he watches you take small sips
âdandy? are you improving your english just to scold me now baby?â you tease but you take another big sip when he doesnât crack a smile
spoils you rotten! like actually this man will buy you anything and everything. and you should never ever think of even glancing at your wallet when youâre with him. he pays for every meal, drink or dessert you have. even if heâs not there with you. like your regular girls night out? sponsored by timođ
gas is almost done? donât worry, timo went and filled your tank while you were in the bath. snowâs coming and you need snow tires? donât worry, timo already booked and paid for the appointment and heâll take yoru car tuesday morning to get them put on. your faucetâs leaking? timo fixes it before you can even notice
this man just wants to take care of you!!!
#ê° đïž ê± â đhughes#ê° đ ê± â đhughes > headcanons#timo meier x reader#timo meier x you#timo meier fic#timo meier fluff
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Gakuen Odazai stole my brain
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#odazai#bsd odasaku#bsd dazai#bsd oda sakunosuke#bsd dazai osamu#my art#bsd fanart#digital art#bsd gakuen au#this took me so long#but man i was worth it#could probably have added details for another week straight#but sometimes you gotta tell yourself to let it go#Anyway Gakuen Odazai my beloved#âsecret relationshipâ my ass lol#they're canon your honor
37 notes
·
View notes
Text
having funnn im having fun
#yaz starting this breakdown by going 'and i think im angry'#actualy i mightve edited that out i think she just says 'i hate him sometimes' now ghjfkghjg#cant have your characters say what they meannnnnnn#this is already very direct#but you gotta let them yell sometimes#especially yaz#the doctor opening this scene calling her co-pilot and telling her not to jump out of the tardis#yaz ending this scene by telling her to jump out of the tardis gfhjkghgj#'i love you dont kill yourself' -> 'i dont believe you and actually you know what. do kill yourself'#dhfkjhfgjh <3 girlies#15 in the background like fUCK#hey wait im having a language realisation here#You Who Calls The Shots. the verb agrees with........'it'. right? yeah. you is the.......i have no idea. but not the subject#fun bc i dont even notice these things..............anymore#but in french it's like 'c'est moi qui ai' and im like heyo wtf are you doing 'ai'?? fghkghj#anyway 'if im not who i thought i was'#i dont think yaz ever really bought into........like the flat team structure. bc i think she always felt that her position wasnt equal#or she wouldnt have been so angry abt it in halloween#so i dont think thats a crisis necessarily in terms of identity or position#but i do lately have her ask 'what am i' a lot to the doctor in different words#not from a place of 'i thought i was your equal and now i realise im not'#but more 'i knew i wasnt your equal but jesus am i even WORTH anything to you?'#she knew she was human vs the doctor's superhuman or supernatural a little#but now it feels like. or she feels like. maybe theres a relegation from person to.........toy :/#she knew she wasnt equal but she didnt feel replaceable necessarily#i think now she feels replaceable#not just not a friend in the doctor's eyes. but not a person in the doctor's eyes#and idk maybe thats true#idk how the doctor really thinks abt humans. i think it'd be hard for me to keep thinking of people as people when...youve known so many#maybe they become Friends instead of people
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
we write like men we post like boys
#Who me? Crappy miss Saigon references? Neverr#Beta what beta#As you can probably tell I am leaving the realm of sanity#Shuffling off this natural coil one might say#To rave to write- to write#Ah thereïżœïżœïżœs the rub and so on#The thousand natural wips that flesh is heir to#Okay this isnât funny in my defence itâs late (itâs 8:30pm)#Fanfic#fanfiction#fanfiction writers#fanfic writers#Shitposting#fuck yeah I love shitposting#if youâre reading these tags Iâm sorry youâre not supposed to#Shitpost#miss saigon#dude I hope thereâs a miss Saigon fandom on here nothing like emotional trauma#Speaking of now that paris Paloma song is stuck in my head#Go listen (if youâre still reading literally please oml go away Iâm embarrassing myself but sometimes a girls gotta let herself go)#And have a great day and everything#dont kill yourself#i love you#drink water#eat if you can#Your parents may be dickheads but life can still be good#And so on
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.
i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.
so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.
today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.
and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.
so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.
#autism#actually autistic#adhd#audhd#actually adhd#neurodivergent#im tagging adhd and autism because that is specifically what i have#this post can apply to any neurodivergent people who feel it helps#i am fully aware that neurodivergent includes people who arent autistic or adhd
72K notes
·
View notes
Note
hey i know u didnt mean anything malicious with it but i really dont think calling people dumb and telling them to go read a book is a great look when u have followers with things like learning and intellectual disabilities who can see that kind of rhetoric come from ur mouth
I understand where you are coming from so I deleted the rb but I need you to reflect on if this was necessary to send to me
#the specific point of the post was the lack of reading comprehension that people on this site have#so let's go over the post. ex gifted kids using burnout as an excuse to not engage with any sort of internal assessment#and just complain about being dumb. beyond this short vent post. that is often grating to listen to and constantly hear when people with#learning disabilities have had to work exponentially as hard in the same rigorous and demeaning environment#2nd. the tag was gifted to iep -> the person who made the comment = me also has a learning disability#so going to other disabled people and telling them that the way they express frustration is wrong is really annoying#3rd. the read a book comment stems from a common phrase to mean go educate yourself. it does not need to be an actual book#so I am sorry that sometimes words said in the moment not intended for you can bounce back and feel insulting#but you have gotta get a backbone and realize not everything is about you#that might feel harsh but it is 8am and school is a very specific sore spot for me#also âbad lookâ I am not an influencer I am a 19 year old dropout on a personal tumblr blog#if you are my friend then come to me and we can have a conversation. if you are not then you really need to learn when things#are not actually a problem#delete later#I try to be very nice and that is not fake but this sort of thing irks me
1 note
·
View note
Note
omg you should definitely talk more about marking daisuke and the other way around đââïž i would love to mark him up
Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader
Warnings: BITING; marking, hickeys, SUGGESTIVE (nsfw but not fully, so I guess mdni??), praising kink, small mention of dirty talking, small mention of bottom, submissive and soft dom Daisuke, cringe, not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
(A/N): I was so embarrassed to write this but like UGH I'm obsessed with Daisuke so badly rn it's insaneđŁ Also I'm so sorry this is kinda short and rushedđą -> m.list
â
MARKING HIM
You have to hold a hand over his mouth, he won't shut up. He's whining and making so many noisesâ
He's not really that much into you marking him, but he surely won't mind one bit
Leave a trail of hickeys and watch him PANIC.
He's so scared that somebody (Swansea) is gonna notice, and then scold him and also possibly you toođ
Imagine the look on his face while he realizes you left marks
IMAGINE PRAISING HIM WHILE YOU'RE NIPPING AT HIS SKIN THOOO
"You're doing so good for me," "Shit, mm, uh-huh..."
Sitting on top of him in one of your rooms and kissing him, leaving dark red marks trailing from his neck to his chest
He doesn't know how to cover them up, you gotta help himđ„Č
Like, he's gonna have something around his neck and when Swansea asks about it he's like
"Oh, you know, fashion."
He asks you not to mark him too high up because he's scaredđ
Overall he enjoys it, not too into receiving from you but if you like it then he's all for itđ
â
MARKING YOU
Boy oh boyđ
When I tell you to get ready, to prepare yourself fully, then do it. Take a break, stare at the invisible camera for a second and then go back to reading.
UGH Daisuke is so fucking IN FOR IT
He loves loves LOVES giving them to you, he's so into it, it boosts his ego to see you all marked up by himđ
Will gently kiss your skin before completely BITING into you, leaving so many dark purple marks over your neck and shoulders
Thinking about sitting on top of the desk in the utility room while Swansea is having his lunch break, making out with Daisuke, his lips all over your skin, leaving hickeys everywhere (might write a fic about this)
If you let even the slightest noise escape your mouth, he's gonna take it as a "go on"
Bottom Daisuke this, Submissive Daisuke that, WHAT ABOUT SOFT DOM DAISUKE??
Imagine just cuddling with him at night and he just buries his face in your shoulder. You think it's a cute gesture until you feel a slight sting and realize he's nipping at your skin (also might write a fic about this)
He's gonna gently kiss the hickeys he left on you to soothe you, he's just sweet like thatđ
If you like it, TELL HIM.
"Am I doing good?" "Yes, very good-"
You can barely even talk because he's digging his teeth into you so much
He's gonna ask if he's doing good in between kisses just becauseđ«¶
Did I mention he's not big on dirty talking? I mean, he does it accidentally sometimes, but he just cringes whenever he tries.
BUT HE'S BIG ON PRAISING SOđ
CALL HIM A GOOD BOY WHILE AT IT
Will also leave full on teeth marks, just a heads-up, he's a vampireâ
Overall he likes giving marks more than receiving
"It's not accurate, that's not how Daisuke would be!!" idc these are MY headcanons so shoođ
â
yoyomiko â
miko
#reader#x reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing daisuke#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#mouthwashing x reader#daisuke mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing x female reader#daisuke x female reader#daisuke headcanons#daisuke x you#daisuke x y/n#daisuke x reader#daisuke#daisuke smut#smutty#curly x reader#mouthwashing headcanon#mouthwashing smut#anya x reader#mouthwashing game#â
yoyomiko#â
miko
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:
1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.
2) That thing you think would help you but you havenât bought/done it yet because youâre technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesnât matter if people around you might think itâs wasteful or that youâre lazy, youâre not, just do it, trust me.
3) Expanding on tip #2, if youâre like me and eggs are your main source of protein because theyâre quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).
4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! thereâs a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!
5) If thereâs a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as âI donât put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-â, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, itïżœïżœïżœs not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.
6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going âOk step 1) stand up-â and so forth. Donât worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.
7) If youâre halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, âPut things away when youâre done with them.â is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus itâs a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like âI gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.â etc.
8) Itâs okay to outsource tasks and donât let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when theyâre first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.
9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, itâs okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) youâll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks wonât get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.
10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because thatâs where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they werenât in my line of sight. Now that theyâre on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go âoh I gotta take those.â and take them.
11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.
12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. Itâs okay to lean into those simple âanimal-brainâ type motivators, youâll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. youâll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. Youâll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because youâll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they arenât stupid or childish, they are VITAL.
13) Donât buy into the cult of âif itâs worth doing, do it properlyâ itâs guaranteed to set you up for failure. If itâs worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because thatâs fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If itâs worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.
Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo âïžđ©”
9K notes
·
View notes
Note
ohhhh free use with poly!marauders would be something like the boys making it hard for reader to do watch a movie because they keep using her holes and passing her around. imagine the boys sitting in one couch and the reader is seated in remus' dick, waiting for him to cum until she is passed to the other boys đ”âđ«
Changed this a tiny bit to fit a bit better but here :) (btw its roommates!marauders)
Cw for free use/advanced consent
-
Youâre alone in your room, curled up in the corner of your bed, blanket covering your thighs as you finally start watching youâre favourite movie. Itâs the middle of the day, so youâre the only one at home while the boys are out at work. See, you and your roommates had come to an agreement; they would go out to work and pay the rent and bills and buy groceries (and occasionally gifts for you), allowing you to spend your days as you please. In return, they ask for only one thing: your advanced consent.
Now, letâs not get silly here, you can always tell the boys no at any time, and they constantly remind you of that fact. All the agreement means is that they donât have to ask you, and sometimes they pull you away from what youâre doing when they really need you. There are also a few rules in place. For example, you shouldnât wear panties around the house (that is, excluding extenuating circumstances), and you shouldnât touch yourself before asking for their help first.
Just as the plot starts to get good, your bedroom door creeks open. You jump, not expecting anyone to be home for at least and hour and a half, but relax when you see itâs only Remus. Once he determines youâre not in the middle of something vital, he pushes the rest of the way into your room. He doesnât say a word to you just yet, just pulls his tshirt over his head and works on unzipping his jeans, pulling out his cock from his boxers and tugging on it.
âRem! Youâre home early,â you grin up at him, not bothering to ask him why, it doesnât matter so long as heâs home. He makes a noncommital âhmphâ sound as he clambers up next to you, grasping at your him and turning you onto your stomach, letting your shirt rise up and expose your pussy to the room, still puffy from James using it this morning.
âShush,â he grunts, but he doesnât really mean it. He just wants to get inside you as quickly as he can, âboysâll be home soon, wanna have you first,â
You go to respond, but Remus interrupts your train of thought by letting a fat glob of spit fall from his lips onto the folds of your pussy and follows it with scraping his fingers through the stickiness. He wastes no time at all before slipping his cock into you, not going slow like he usually does to let you get used to his size.
You whine loudly at the burn his cock leaves you with, and while he doesnât slow down he does set a soothing hand on the small of your back and bends over yiu to press a kiss to the bcak of your neck as he starts up his fast pace. It doesnât take long for you to get used to the stretch, and you let your mouth drop open in a long, continuous moan.
You lose yourself in the sensations, almost forgetting about the movie still playing in the background as your roommate manhandles you all over your bed, using his full strength to let out his frustration on you. Remus hears the soft click of the front door opening, but you donât, so you let out a confused whine when he pulls out of you.
âShh, sweetheart,â he soothes, seating himself at the head of your bed and pulling you over his thighs, slipping himself back into you, âboysâre home, gotta make sure they donât take my girl, huh?â
You donât respond. You canât, what with Remus slipping his fingers against your poor, aching clit. The door to your room is already wide open, so James and Sirius can see the two of you as soon as they get to the upstairs landing. James clears his throat and you whip your head around to see your two other roommates standing side by side, watching you take Remusâ cock. You make eye contact with Sirius, and he rolls his eyes playfully.
âTold you heâd get home first,â he jabs his elbow into Jamesâ rib before taking his hand and sitting on the end of your bed with the other boy in tow.
âYour fault really, Pads,â he points out, then smiles up at you, shrugging his shoulders, âthe boys were arguing this morning about who got to have you first when we got home,â
âI was gonna share with Jamesie here, but Moonyâs a stinkin cheater,â the boy in question doesnât pay them any attention, just renews his grip on your hips and brings them down to meet his own thrusts.
âRem!â You protest, turning back towards him and putting your palms on his chest to keep your balance. You can feel him throbbing inside you, a telltale sign that heâs close, and thank goodness for that because youâre getting there too, and on days where they pass you back and forth like this, itâs best if you cum as little as possible in the beginning.
âWhoâs it gonna be next, love?â James is always more careful with you, his voice always questioning, never demanding. This by no means indicates that he isnât just as desperate as you. In fact, on days where itâs all three boys, theres never a time where he isnât practically forcing his cock into you.
Thereâs no opportunity for you to even try to answer his question, because Remus is anchoring you to him and spurting his cum deep inside you.
Sirius goes to tug you from Remusâ lap, but he locks his arms around your back and prevents you from moving even an inch further away from him. Sirius and James let out grumbles of displeasure.
âRem, honey, share,â you remind him. When he eventually lets you go, James gets to you first, âcan I face this way? I wanna watch my movie,â
All three boys chuckle amoungst themselves, and silently vow to make it as difficult as possible for you to watch your movie.
#âąmegs talksâą#âąmegs smutty daydreamsâą#marauders x y/n#marauders x you#marauders x reader#marauders moodboard#marauders fic#marauders smut#marauders#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader#james potter smut#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin smut#sirius black x reader#sirius black smut#harry potter x reader smut#harry potter x reader
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
their first time fucking â
âËàż fuckboy!jungkook đđËâ extra àŁȘ ÖŽÖ¶ÖžâŸ. written, nsfw
series m.list
⥠â permanent taglist: @https-mei @blaricee @blluee28 @jkvias @jksctrl @ari420sstuff @wnteraezz @letmekookk @whoa-jo @wobblewobble822 @jkslvsnella @clxssy1997 @nikkinikj @kayleesaltzmann @rrosiitas @naurnonope @lola75111 @somehowukook @redcherrykook @parkinglot-nights @deluluisdasolulu @minghaosimp @hyeon-yi @ririkookiemonster @svtrighthereworld @jmscaffeine @trinityxsope @taetaecatboy @butnotmontana @joyofbebbanburg @elinaki92 @sweetmimosa28
âare you sure about this?â
âyes, like i said, go sloâ i told you to go slow jungkook!â
âoh fuck-â
âyou ruined it!!!â you exclaim as you watch jungkook lose a game that the two of you have been playing for the last 30 minutes. well, he's the one playing and you're kind of.. helping.
you wanted to play, but he insisted he wanted to play alone because you're a 'nerd' and couldn't play as well as he couldâwhich earned him a smack on the head from you.
âi told you, you have to wait until the monster appears,â you huff, and he slumps back into the couch.
âokay, expert, whatever,â he shrugs.
âyeah, whatever,â you roll your eyes.
jungkook relaxes into the couch, his head thrown back as he groans, âwhere is this mother fuââ
ding!
âi think you got a text,â you say, glancing at his phone on the small table beside the couch.
âoh, you think so?â he mocks, and you glare him.
hoseok invited you for your usual study session. normally, you both would go to the library or the café he likes, which you didn't mind. today, though, he said he wanted to study at his frat house because it would just be the two of you.
and you couldn't miss a chance like that now would you?
but when you arrived, hoseok was nowhere to be found, and it was jungkook who let you in.
what a fun way to find out that all the fuckboys live in the same house.
jungkook told you that the other members were out doing what they usually doâthings you'd rather not know about.
and now, you're just waiting for hoseok to come back.
âoh... okay,â jungkook says aloud as he sets his phone aside, turning to you.
âwas it him? is he coming?â you ask.
ânah, he's getting wasted with the others, probably won't be back until.. i don't know, early morning i guess?â jungkook replies, âoh and i told him you were here. he said he's sorry that he forgot and told me to tell you to go home safe.â
you sulk at his words.
he notices.
âhe... forgot?â you ask, your voice dropping.
âthat's what he said. if you don't believe me, you can take my phone and see his texts.â
âno, no, i mean...â you sigh. âuh sorry, i should get going then.â
you stand up, grabbing your bag. but before you can take a step forward, jungkook speaks up.
âwe can play another game if you want.â
you look at him. he holds up his controller, placing the second one beside him.
âtogether.â
âi am tired,â he groans, throwing the controller onto the couch as he walks toward the kitchen and you follow him.
âfor a fuckboy, you have less stamina,â you joke.
âi was studying the whole dayââ
you raise a brow.
âi know, yeah me, studying?? woah, impossible!!â he mocks himself, then continues more seriously, âtrust me, i study.â
he grabs a can of beer from the fridge and closes it. âsometimes.â
you can't help but scoff a laugh.
âyou don't have to explain yourself,â you say, crossing your arms as he takes a sip of the beer before responding.
âi know, but it's you iâm talking to, soââ
âwhat do you mean, me?â
he tilts his head. âaren't we friends?â
âyeah?â
he smiles. âthen i gotta prove that iâm not as bad as you think i am.â
âi don'tââ
âyou do.â
you think for a second and sigh. âi do.â
that makes both of you chuckle.
âi think i should go now, it's getting late,â you tell jungkook, glancing at the clock on the wall. you walk toward the door, and he follows you.
âthank you for the ice cream,â you say, referring to the treat you had a few minutes ago.
âit's okay, it wasn't mine anyway,â he shrugs, and you gasp.
âwhat the fuck, why did you let me eat it then?â
ârelax! itâs hoseok's. he wouldn't mind since he literally ditched you tonight,â he says, then realizes how it sounds as he sees the change in your expression. âi didn't meanââ
âno, it's okay. he did kind of ditch me, but it doesn't really matter. i can meet him some other time.â you smile, trying to ease the awkwardness.
you're kinda rethinking about getting fucked by him anyway.
âright...â he trails off.
you both stand there for a moment, the silence stretching between you before he breaks it.
âso, i guess i'll textâ mmph.â and you do it again. you cut him off just like when you first met him, but this time, the kiss lasts longer.
âw-wait,â he breathes out as he pulls back, staring at you. âyou wanna fuck?â
âwell, i don't knowââ
âwhy did you kiss me then?â he asks
you look at him. why did you kiss him?
because hoseok isn't available? no.
because you're desperate? ... you're not sure.
âi don't knowâŠâ you finally say.
he opens his mouth to say something but stops.
âi just wanted to,â you add, and he's visibly surprised.
âis that wrong?â you continue, your eyes searching his.
jungkook's gaze softens. âno,â he murmurs, leaning in closer, his voice barely a whisper. âbut you don't like fuckboys and also we're friendsââ
âyes, but tonight's different.â you say, reaching out to tug him back towards you, âyou know, like a one time thing.â
he raises an eyebrow, his voice uncertain. âso, you wanna fuck and then wake up tomorrow like nothing happened? like we didn't do anything?â
you roll your eyes. âif you keep talking, we really won't do anything.â
âokay then final question, answer this with a yes or noâ he says, his tone teasingly demanding, almost childish, and it makes you scoff a laugh.
âwhat?â
he smirks.
âwanna fuck?â
you smirk back.
âyes.â
âââââââââ the wall âââââââââ
âo-oh fuck, jungkook, yes!â you moan out, your fingers tangled in his hair. his head is buried between your thighs, which are wrapped tightly around his neck. your hips are lifted, your back pressed against the wall as he stays on his knees.
he's been tongue-fucking you for a few minutes now, and you can feel yourself reaching the edge.
âmm, you taste so sweet.â he laps at your clit, sucking the sensitive bud between his teeth before releasing it with a pop. âi could eat this pretty cunt all day long.â
without warning, you cum on his mouth, your body shuddering as waves of pleasure course through you.
he swallows it all, his tongue still working on your sensitive pussy, making you squirm and whimper from the overstimulation.
slowly, he stands up as lifts you up, your legs wrapping around his waist. he keeps you pressed against the wall, his hands gripping your thighs tightly as he looks at you as you're gasping for air, that cocky grin forming on his lips.
âyou want me forreal.â
âare you kidding me? right now?â you can't believe he's saying that after you just came so hard. but maybe itâs because of the orgasm, because instead of getting annoyed, you find yourself laughing a little.
âyou came so much so iââ you cut him off with a kiss, your lips crashing onto his as you taste yourself, sucking on his tongue to shut him up.
he pulls back just enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours.
âwhat's next, darling?â
âââââââââ the floor âââââââââ
ât-that tickles,â you giggle when you feel jungkook softly rubbing your waist while his tongue laps at your right nipple.
âmy tongue?â he asks, his eyes looking up at you as he moves to kiss your left nipple. you're both sprawled on the floor, his hands moving up and down your body as he hovers over you.
âyour hands,â you gasp softly, taking in the warmth of his mouth on your skin.
âmmh,â he hums as his hands slide up, grabbing both of your breasts, squeezing them gently. you arch your back slightly when he squeezes them together, and he buries his face between them, licking and nipping at the soft flesh.
âcan i suck your dick?â you say quickly, almost before thinking, and it makes jungkook pull back, looking at you in surprise. he clearly wasnât expecting that.
âyou wanna?â he asks, his eyebrows slightly raised.
âwhy do you look so surprised? never got your dick sucked before?â you joke, a grin forming on your lips as you see the stunned look on his face.
he rolls his eyes at you, his lips curving into a smirk. it's funny because it's usually you whoâs rolling your eyes at him.
âjust making sure,â
âââââââââ the couch âââââââââ
ây-you're doing so good, f-fuck,â he groans, grabbing a fistful of your hair as you choke and drool on his cock. you're on your knees, gripping his thighs while he sits naked on the couch, his cock in your mouth.
his head falls back as he moans, and he bucks his hips up just slightly, pushing deeper into your throat.
he fucking loves this.
âmmfph-â you let out a muffled sound as your eyes start to water. he looks down at you, taking in the sight of you on your knees for him, your lips stretched around his length. reaching out, he wipes away a tear, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your cheek, his touch oddly tender given the situation.
âthat's it, darling. you're being such a good girl,â he whispers, his voice barely above a breath but enough for you to hear. âsucking my cock and looking at me like that... you look so fucking pretty.â
you pull back just slightly, taking a quick breath before diving right back in. your head bobs up and down, your tongue gliding along the underside of his cock, taking him as deep as you can. each time you do, he lets out a low groan, his abs tightening.
âoh fuck, i'm close,â he grunts, his grip on your hair loosening and you pull back.
âcan i-â he starts to ask, but you open your mouth, sticking your tongue out, and he curses under his breath.
he strokes himself a few times, his breath hitching, and then he releases, hot ropes of cum spilling onto your tongue. you keep your mouth open, letting him see before swallowing it all, licking him clean until there's nothing left. once you're done, you pull away, giving him a proud smile.
he chuckles, shaking his head slightly, clearly amused by your behavior.
âyou're not what i expected,â
âââââââââ bed âââââââââ
âdid you fuck anyone here before?â you ask as you look at jungkook between your legs. your thighs are wrapped around his waist, and your back pressed against the softness of his bed.
âno,â he says simply as he reaches over to grab a condom. âi don't bring girls here.â
âwhy not?â you ask, raising an eyebrow.
âbecause i'm never alone,â he explains, tearing the packet open with ease.
âbut we're alone right now,â you point out, watching every one of his movements.
âi was supposed to go out with hoseok and the others, but i was tired, remember? so i stayed in. and honestly, i'm glad i did that.â he rolls the condom onto his length.
you smack his shoulder playfully, and he lets out a soft chuckle.
ânow, are you really sure about this?â he asks, his hands gently gripping your hips, holding you steady.
âfor the tenth time, yes, i am,â you respond, âlike i said, itâs a one-time thing,â you remind him.
he gives a small nod, then grabs his cock, rubbing the tip along your wet folds, making you whimper at the feeling.
âjust fucking put it in,â you breathe out,
he grins, leaning down just a bit closer. âsay please, darling,â
âif you think iâm gonna beg for it, think again,â you say, your eyes narrowing at him.
he chuckles, shaking his head. âso bossy,â he mutters, and then, without further delay, he pushes his cock into you.
âf-fuck..â you bite down on your lower lip, your eyes squeezing shut as you feel him stretching you. the fullness is almost overwhelming, but there's a hint of pleasure there, building slowly.
he pauses for a moment, his gaze searching your face. âyou okay, darling?â he asks, genuine concern in his voice.
ây-yeah,â you manage to say, breathing heavily. âit feels... bigger than i expected,â you admit, your cheeks flushing slightly.
his grin widens at that, and he starts to move, thrusting in and out of you in a slow, steady rhythm. normally, you'd have some sassy comeback for that look on his face, but right now, it feels too good to say anything at all.
no wonder women love him.
you came once.
âfuckâ nngh y-yes!!â you cry out, the pleasure overwhelming as your body trembles around him.
âoh my goâ i amâ fuck!â jungkook moans, his head falling back onto the pillow as you ride him, your hips bouncing on his cock.
twice.
âyou like that, hm? you like getting your pussy fucked from behind?â his voice is a growl as he grips your ass, pounding into you relentlessly. youâre on all fours, your moans mixing with the sound of skin slapping against skin. tears well up at the edges of your eyes, the pleasure bordering on too much, but you donât want him to stop.
make it a third time.
âfuck..â
jungkook groans as he collapses onto the bed, his chest rising and falling as he tries to catch his breath, his eyes closed. exhaustion drips from his voice as he mumbles, âyouâre such a freak.â
you sit beside him, still naked, your fingers lightly tracing patterns over his chest. âone more round?â you suggest, a playful smile dancing on your lips.
he chuckles, shaking his head. âyeah, right.â
you tilt your head, raising a brow at him, your expression almost challenging.
his eyes widen just a bit. âoh, youâre serious?â he asks, genuinely surprised.
you nod, shrugging slightly. âhow are you not tired?â he breathes out, his voice laced with disbelief.
âi can take some more, i guess,â you say casually, though the glint in your eyes betrays your eagerness.
âi am sorry to disappoint, darling, but i think i am done for tonight.â he lets out a tired sigh, and he sees you pout.
âwoah,â he murmurs, watching the way your lips form into a cute little pout. itâs endearing. heâs seen so many sides of you tonightâand now... this.
cute and.. whiny?
âpleaseee, jungkook, one more time!!â you whine, your voice soft and pleading, making his heart skip a beat.
he blinks, like heâs just seeing a new part of you, something he never expected. maybe itâs the endorphins, or just the momentâwhatever it is, this side of you is cute, almost innocent in your need.
he likes it.
âhow about this,â he says, a grin forming on his lips, âwe take a shower, and maybe we can go for another round there, hm?â
âshower sex?â you ask.
he nods.
âno, itâs unsafe,â you respond immediately, shaking your head.
he sighs dramatically, his grin widening. âwell then, no more sex for tonight,â he says, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. âmaybe some other night.â
you roll your eyes, huffing. âyou wishâ
he chuckles, his arm wrapping around your waist as he pulls you close.
âi do.â
a/n: i hope it's not too confusing đŁ
#jeon jungkook#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#fanfic#jungkook smau#jungkook fic#smut#bts smut#jjk fic#jungkook fanfic#fuckboy jungkook
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
risk it all for you
pairing: tyler owens x reader
summary: you and tyler have liked each other since high school. but you both may have waited too long to tell each other, which leads to a pretty nasty fight between the two of you. thatâs when a storm comes.
word count: 3.7k
a/n: ended up being so much longer than i thought it would, but had a blast writing for everyoneâs favorite tornado cowboy
The comforting scent of burning wood filled your lungs as you sat by the campfire. You didnât even notice the smile that was glued to your face as you looked around.
The recent storms had brought in all kinds of visitors, hoping to witness a tornado up close and personal. It was the end of a busy day, and all the chasers were camping out in the parking lot of the motel they were staying at.
Tyler, your best friend since high school, had invited you to the bonfire. Tyler had always been the adrenaline junkie, not you. Chasing tornadoes was his thing, and you were glad to let him have it all to himself.
You were currently sitting in the back of Tylerâs truck waiting for him to bring you back a beer.
âSo, youâre telling me you and Tyler have never gone for a ride?â One of Tylerâs friends continued to pester you. You quickly shook your head. You couldnât bear the thought of risking your life like that. âNever, you all can keep your tornadoes. I am happy staying at home and hearing the stories.â You replied.
âNobody said I was talking about tornadoes.â He retorted. The whole group erupted into laughter. Your cheeks heated up at the implication. It wasnât like youâd never thought about it. You definitely had.
You heard a few rogue whistles. âAlright, thatâs enough.â You heard a low voice say beside you. You turned to look over your shoulder and saw Tyler with two beers in hand.
âHere you go, sweetheart. Donât let âem bother you too much.â He said, handing the bottle over to you. He jumped up to sit next to you on the tailgate. Even after being friends for years, you still sometimes got butterflies when you hung out with him.
âI mean, you canât blame them. Itâs a complete mystery how weâve managed to stay just friends. I mean, you are just so hot and irresistible. I donât know how any girl could stay friends with the infamous Tyler Owens.â You sarcastically teased him.
He nearly spit out his beer as he laughed at your joke. Whenever Tyler laughed at your jokes, it was like a little ego boost.
Many people had prodded over the years and asked you and Tyler why you never dated. Every time you gave a sarcastic response to the questions, Tyler fell a little harder for you.
Tyler leaned against you, clinking his bottle against yours. His arm pressed up against yours. Heat radiated off his skin. You hadnât realized how cold you were. Tyler noticed too.
âOh hang on, here take this,â he said, grabbing a blanket from behind him. He carefully wrapped it around your shoulders, so it would keep you warm.
You could smell his cologne on the blanket. If you closed your eyes, you could pretend you were wrapped up in his arms.
âSo, Tyler, if you two arenât together, are you seeing anybody else?â One of the girls sat around the fire asked Tyler. You instantly felt your stomach drop. Youâd watched girls flirt with Tyler for years, but it never got easier. You faked a smile, but inside, you had a pit in your stomach.
âWhy you wanna know? You want me all to yourself?â Tyler jokingly flirted back.
It was no secret that Tyler was a flirt. It never meant anything more to him. It was always just a flirty comment. But you still got jealous. You knew you and Tyler couldnât have any kind of flirtatious relationship.
The girl pretended to fan herself and blew a kiss towards Tyler. Everyone was laughing at the silly exchange. You just couldnât do it.
You set down the blanket and hopped down off the tailgate. âI gotta get something out of my car.â You lied, since everyoneâs eyes were glued on you. Jealousy was written all over your face. It didnât take a genius to figure it out.
They all went back to their conversations as you walked away. You wiped away the tear that was rolling down your cheek.
You heard a heavy pair of footsteps behind you. âWait up. Where ya goinâ?â He asked. You both knew you werenât just âgetting something out of your car.â
âAnywhere but here, Tyler,â you said. You continued walking and refused to look back at Tyler. You knew if you looked at him, youâd melt and lose the courage to leave. Tyler could convince you to do anything, and all it took was the twinkle in his eye.
You reached out to open your car door. Tyler smacked his hand against the door, pushing it closed. The loud slam caused you both to jump. It hadnât been so aggressive in his head.
He mumbled a quick âsorryâ and then squeezed himself between you and the car, his back pressed up against the car door.
You focused your eyes on the ground. You refused to look him in the eye.
âWhatâs goinâ on? Are you mad at me?â He asked you. You rolled your eyes and huffed. He waited for you to answer as you stubbornly crossed your arms. âIâm not mad at you, Ty. I just want to leave.â You said, with your eyes still glued to the ground.
He grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him. You bit your tongue, trying to remain assured. Tyler had to resist the urge to laugh at how much effort it was taking you to keep a serious face.
âReally? Cause it looks like youâre mad at me. In fact, it looks like youâre a little jealous.â He said, smirking down at you. He moved his hand from your chin to brush a piece of hair behind your ear.
You pushed him off of you and took a step back. âOh, really? Is it that obvious?â You said, hitting his arm. He cocked his head to the side. He was expecting you to deny it, and he was a little shocked when you didnât.
âSo, you are feelinâ a little jealous? Why didnât you just tell me?â He said, taking a small step towards you. He was wearing the same cocky smile that he always had plastered on his face.
âDo you know how hard it is to see you flirt with every girl you meet?â You asked. He furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out why you were so frustrated. To him, it seemed like there was a very simple solution.
He let his hand rest on your waist, softly toying with the fabric of your shirt. âWell, sweetheart, if you wanted me, you could have just told me. Iâm right here for you to take.â He told you, genuinely. Hearing those words come out of his mouth made your stomach do flips.
âItâs different with me and you. We canât flirt the way you do with those girls.â You told him. You could feel yourself starting to give into his touch, as you leaned in closer to him. âI see no reason why we canât, sweetheart.â He said, looping his arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him.
You could feel your heart pounding. You had to remind yourself to breathe. His cologne was enveloping all your senses. Your eyes were stuck on his.
âCause with them, itâs casual. But weâve been friends for years, so it could never be casual. It would have to be all or nothing. It would have to be this serious thing, or weâd risk our entire friendship.â You told him, your voice coming out as a whisper. He ran his fingers through your hair. He couldnât help but admire you under the moonlight.
âI never claimed to want something casual with you, sweetheart.â He told you. You could feel goosebumps spread down your arms as he looked at you like you were his everything.
You had to pull yourself out of it. You were getting dragged in. âWe canât be together, Tyler.â You said, pulling yourself out of his grasp. You noticed his slight frown as you slipped out of his arms.
âWhy not? I think we both know weâd be great together.â He tried to convince you. He didnât know why you seemed so hesitant when you both knew the feelings were mutual.
He could see the sadness on your face. You wanted to be with Tyler, but you knew it wouldnât work. âI would always end up as your second priority. It would ruin us, and weâd never be able to be friends again.â You told him. Your emotion was clear in your voice.
He cocked his head to the side in confusion. That was the last thing he expected you to say. He never thought he struggled at showing you how important you were to him.
âWhat do you mean? Nobody comes before you. Nobody ever has. Iâve always put you first.â He told you. He was practically begging you for answers. He wanted to know how to assure you.
âOwens, Iâm not talking about a person. Iâm talking about all of this.â You said, looking around you both. There were storm chasers camping out for as far as you both could see. âWhat are you saying? That we canât be together because I chase tornadoes?â He asked, starting to raise his voice.
You both were very stubborn people, so it was gradually turning into more of an argument.
âIâm saying youâd always have one foot out the door. And at the drop of a hat, youâd be racing out to risk your life. I canât be wondering if youâre gonna come home. But, I know how much you love what you do.â You told him. Your voice cracked, and Tyler stepped forward to try to comfort you.
You put your hands up to stop him. He swore under his breath. He was seeing how determined you really were. He was becoming less confident that you could convince you otherwise.
âWell maybe I love you more.â He said.
The thought of losing you was enough to finally push him to confess how he really felt about you. He saw your eyes soften. Those were the words youâd always dreamed of hearing Tyler say.
You felt your heart break when you realized they didnât change anything. âOh, come on, Tyler. Itâs not fair to throw out words that you canât back up with any commitments.â You said.
Tyler was becoming more frustrated as he felt you drifting further and further away. âDonât push me away. Youâve known me for years. You know me better than anyone. You know Iâm not reckless. A risk taker? Yes, but Iâm careful enough to stay safe. Because Iâve got someone to come home to.â He told you.
You tried to take a deep breath, but all you could focus on was the broken expression on Tylerâs face. âTyler, Iâve seen you chase tornadoes for years. Iâve seen how much you light up when you talk about it. I know how much you love it. Itâs inspiring, it really is, but itâs also the reason you canât make a long-term commitment to anything or anyone else.â You told him, honestly.
Tyler shook his head, looking down at the ground. You were technically right. He had trouble making commitments. But it wasnât because of how much he loved storm chasing.
It was because of how much he loved you.
âWhat about us, huh? Weâve been friends for years. Iâve never missed a birthday or a phone call or a breakup. So, donât tell me I canât make a commitment. I have never failed to be there for you. Why would I stop if we started dating?â He snapped at you.
You flinched at how loudly he was talking. Heâd never yelled at you before. He noticed how your expression changed. You stepped backwards, putting some physical and emotional space between the two of you.
You pushed past him to open your car door. âWait, câmon, donât leave,â he begged you. He knew heâd crossed a line, and he was trying to remedy it.
âIâm not gonna stay here when youâre yelling at me like that.â You told him. He grabbed your hand and spun you around to face him. âSweetheart, Iâm sorry. I really didnât mean to. I was trying to tell you that Iâd always put you first.â He apologized, squeezing your hand. You wanted nothing more than to melt into his arms. But you couldnât.
âI canât do this right now, Tyler.â You said, pulling your hand back and getting in your car. Tyler felt a pit in his stomach as you drove off. He couldnât help but worry that heâd lost you for good.
He ran his fingers through his hair as he wondered what to do. His eyes landed on the bar across the street from the motel. He started walking in that direction. He felt stupid for being optimistic that youâd reciprocate his feelings.
His friends all called after him, having seen the whole fight go down. They all asked him where he was going, but he ignored them all. He wasnât quite ready to talk about you and have his friends tell him heâd screwed up. Because he knew that already.
So, while you drove home and started crying on your couch, Tyler went to the bar. He wasnât even really drinking that much. It was mostly just sulking.
Heâd drowned out everyone else at the bar who was partying. He was sitting at the end of the bar staring into his glass. All he could think about was how hurt you looked when he yelled at you.
He wanted to pull you into his arms and apologize over and over until you forgave him.
His thoughts were interrupted when he heard a news alert playing on the television above the bar. His eyes darted up to the screen and saw âMultiple Tornado Spottingsâ. He realized your house was right in the middle of the storms.
He swore under his breath and raced towards his truck. Fueled by adrenaline, he sped towards your house. He had the pedal pushed down as far as it would go.
Nothing motivated Tyler more than the thought of you being in harmâs way. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and clicked on your contact.
He anxiously tapped on the steering wheel as his phone rang. It only rang once before he got sent to voicemail. He tried to call you again, and you declined the call again.
You were oblivious to the incoming storm, and you were in no mood to talk to Tyler.
âOh, come on, sweetheart. Turn on the news, please.â He muttered to himself, praying that he could will it into existence.
Once he got to your house, he barely turned his truck off before jumping out and sprinting towards the front door.
He banged on the door with his fist. The winds were picking up around him. His adrenaline was still running high.
âGo away, Tyler.â He heard you yell from inside. He pounded on the door again. âThereâs a storm, sweetheart. We gotta get to the cellar. Itâs not safe.â He yelled through the door. He could barely hear himself over the howling wind. He quickly tapped his fingers on his leg, fidgeting as he waited for you to appear.
The door swung open. Your fear was written all over your face. Tyler grabbed your hand and pulled you with him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw a tornado forming in the distance.
The wind was blowing you both around as you raced towards the cellar. Tyler kept a tight grip on your hand. He wasnât going to let you out of his sight.
âLookout,â Tyler yelled, shielding your body with his as a dumpster went flying by you both. After it missed you both, he tugged you towards the cellar.
The cellar doors had already flung open from the wind. He grabbed your waist, pushing you inside before him. You quickly ran down to the bottom of the stairs.
âSweetheart, get me a stick or something down there or these doors wonât stay closed.â Tyler told you. He was wincing as he struggled to hold the doors closed.
You grabbed an old broomstick and handed it to him quickly. He shoved it through the handles and prayed it would hold.
âAlright, câmon, we gotta get to the back.â He said, nudging you.
âOver here,â you said, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the closet in the back of the cellar.
Tyler closed the closet door behind you both. It was a small closet. You were facing the back wall. He was covering your whole body with his. He had his hand protectively cupping the back of your head.
âKeep your eyes closed and hold on to those pipes, sweetheart.â He instructed you. You quickly nodded your head and did what he told you to do. He pressed a soft kiss to the back of your head, to try to comfort you.
You both had always had a nonverbal way of communicating. He obviously knew you were scared because who wouldnât be? But he also knew that one of your biggest fears was something happening to him while chasing a storm. And now you were wrapped up in that.
âIâve got you, sweetheart. I promise, I wonât let anything happen to you.â He assured you, holding onto you tightly.
A high pitched whistle filled the room as the wind started to pick up. You could feel the pressure envelop your whole body. Everything around you was rattling.
Up above you, you could hear thuds as the tornado flung around cars and anything else in its path. It wasnât long until you both heard the cellar doors rip open.
The howling wind got louder. It made your ears ring. Tyler tightened his grip on you as the closet doors started to shake. Your knuckles turned white as you gripped onto the pipes.
âYou promise me you wonât play hero.â Tyler yelled at you. He didnât want you to get hurt trying to save him. You furiously shook your head. âIâm not letting anything happen to you.â You yelled back.
The closet doors started shaking even more. The hinges were loudly squeaking. You just knew that the tornado was right above you.
A piece of the door ripped off and flew through the air. The air swirled around the tiny closet, making it harder to hold on.
Pieces of the door kept splintering off. One of them sliced against Tylerâs bicep, causing him to wince and bite down on his lip.
The closet doors finally swung open. With the large cut on Tylerâs arm, his grip accidentally loosened. He started getting pulled backwards. He only had one hand on the pipes. He was gripping it with all the strength he had.
You wrapped one of your arms around the pipes and the other around his waist, pulling him back into you. You buried your face into his chest.
Then, the wind almost instantly disappeared.
You both continued to hold onto each other as your adrenaline still ran high. Tyler kissed the top of your head. âItâs over, sweetheart. Weâre safe.â He whispered, still trying to catch his breath.
You both slowly pulled away from each other and leaned against opposite walls. Neither of you said a word as you tried to process what had just happened.
âYou saved my life, sweetheart.â He said, looking at you with love in his eyes. You could feel the tears start to bubble up. You were finally letting yourself acknowledge how scared youâd been, now that you werenât in danger anymore.
âI was so scared to lose you.â You whispered, your voice cracking. He pulled you into his arms, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. He softly rubbed your back. âYou did everything right, sweetheart.â He assured you.
He continued to hug you until you stopped crying. When you both pulled apart, you could see the guilt in his eyes.
âThis was all my fault.â He mumbled under his breath. You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at him. You stubbornly shook your head. âNone of this was your fault. It was a tornado. You might be the tornado wrangler, but you canât control them.â You said, trying to cheer him up and lighten the mood.
He grabbed your hands, interlacing his fingers with yours. Neither of you wanted to keep your hands off each other. You both were still worried if you took your eyes off the other that theyâd disappear.
âI shouldnât have yelled at you back there. If I hadnât, weâd both still be at the motel. You wouldnât have been in harmâs way if it wasnât for me.â He told you, apologetically. He was realizing that his actions had put you in the wrong place at the wrong time.
âIâm sorry that I yelled at all. I wasnât mad at you. I really wasnât. I was mad at myself. You should have no reason to doubt how important you are to me. If you do, I need to fix that.â He said, squeezing both your hands. You noticed a smile start to grow on his face when you didnât pull away.
âYou never gave me a reason to doubt you. I was just scared. Weâre not all as brave as the tornado wrangler.â You teased him. He let out a soft chuckle.
It was nice to have a peaceful moment, laughing together like you always did, after a life or death scenario.
âDoes that mean?â Tyler started to ask you, a smirk beginning to grow. You just giggled and nodded your head. âYes, it means you can kiss me, cowboy.â You said, cheesily smiling at him.
He didnât waste any time grabbing your belt loops and pulling you closer to him. You cupped his face and leaned in to kiss you. You let yourself melt into the kiss. His soft lips fit perfectly against yours. Just like youâd always dreamed.
You could feel him smiling against your lips. You both pulled out of the kiss. Tyler looked at you with a look of awe. âIâve spent years wishing I could do that.â He said, smiling down at you.
taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @lillyssh-tposts @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @supernaturalstilinski @stephv213 @warriormirkwood @one-sweet-gubler @narliesstuff @bibissparkles @stupiidfrogs @navs-bhat
Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!
#tyler owens#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens fanfiction#tyler owens fic#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens twisters#twisters#glen powell
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
âHey Katsukiâ, you scream from the your bedroom.
âWhatâ he yells back at you from somewhere else in the house.
âWhere ya at?â
âIn the game room.â
So you get up and head that way. When you enter heâs sat in his gaming chair with his headset on.
âHey bubâŠ. Hey guysâ you say loud enough to be heard through his headset.
âYea yea. They all said hey.â You knew Kirishima and Kaminari were on the other end. Maybe even Mina too cuz she wasnât texting you back.
âKit-Kat, Iâm getting hungry. Do you know what sounds really good for dinner?â
âWhat?â he questions without taking his eyes off the screen.
You walk behind him and slide your arms around his neck and nuzzle into the back of his head. Youâre trying to butter him up because you know heâs not gonna wanna make what youâre craving.
âYou remember those dumplings you made from scratch a while ago?â You ask with your voice dripping in as much sweetness you can muster.
âNo.â
âNo you donât remember or no youâre-â
And he interrupt you before you can even finish. âNo im not cooking that. There are frozen dumplings in the fridge.â
âBut Sukiiiiii, those arenât as good as the ones you make. The flavors arenât the same and yours are so crispy and doughy. Pleaaasseee.â
âHey you assholes shut the hell up. No ones talking to you.â He responds to his friends in the headset. âYou want her to have âem, bring your ass over and make âemâ
âIâm not doing this. You idiots hold on.â And he pauses the game and turns around to face you and removes his head set.
âLook we can order takeout if you want, but Iâm not about to make freakin dumplings from scratch cuz you have a craving. Iâd have to go to the store and get ingredients and taking the time to make the wrappings. âS too much.â He tries to explain to you in a rational way .
âI knooowwwâŠ. Iâd go to the store with you though and Iâll help you make themâŠ. Pretty pleaseâ you whine and stick you lowere lip out just a little with your eyes as pleading as you can make them.
Katsuki rolls his eyes and throws his head back.
âYou donât get whatever you want just because you pout at me. Spoiled ass. Not today. Maybe sometime later this week.â
You didnât actually think heâd tell you no. He usually never does. Maybe you are spoiled. Still makes you sad though.
So you put on your big girl pants, tuck your lip back in and give him a soft âokâ before you lean down and press a soft kiss to his lips so he knows youâre not upset with him.
He is allowed to say no.
âIs Mina on the game with you guys?â You ask him when you pull back.
âYeah she is.â
âWhen you get back on can you tell her to stop being a bitch and answer my phone call. I have tea to spill.â
âIâll tell her.â
And with that you head toward the door and leave.
Once youâre back in your room it takes Mina about 3 minutes to call you and you start catching her up on everything.
You guys stay on the phone for about 30 minutes before she has to go.
After that, you bury yourself in the blankets and start reading the manga you had lying on your nightstand.
Before you can really get into it, Katsuki is walking into your room and going into the closet.
âGet your ass outta bed and get dressed before I change my goddamn mind.â
âWhat?â You ask because now youâre confused.
âYou said you were gonna go to the store with me to buy all this shit so get your ass up and letâs go.â
âKats you donât have to, itâs fine.â
âLook ya spoiled brat, if I gotta tell you to get up one more time we are gonna be in here fightin.â
And the smile that breaks out on your face. You hurry and get outta bed and rush him. âAwwwww my sweet boyâ
âI swear to god, Iâm this close to letting your ass starve.â
And you wrap your arms around him and start kissing everywhere on his face. When you pulled away he has a deep frown on his face but you can see the sparkle in his eyes that he gets when youâre super happy.
You pull away and scurry off to get dressed.
He really needs to start saying no to you and meaning it before you really lose the understanding of the word.
Katsuki Masterlist
Tags: @dreamcastgirl99
*if you want to be added to the tag list, let me knowđ
#tootietalks#imagine#bakugou x reader#mha fanfiction#bakugou drabble#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou katsuki#drabble#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugo headcanons#fluff#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha katsuki#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo#katsukibakugou#katsuki bakugou#katsuki#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugo#bnha bakugou#bakugou#mha bakugou
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
johnny soap mactavish whoâs the g o d of after care
- likes to hold you close immediately after
- as in, youâre not going anywhere for 5 minutes, just gotta sit here under his weight and let him kiss your neck soothingly
- just wants to make sure you feel loved and cared for after heâs been especially rough with you
- cause although it feels good for both of you to be hard and fast, he definitely wants to take some time making sure youâre okay when winding down
- johnnyâs also super sensitive but doesnât wanna pull out just yet
- would argue this is better than the sex itself sometimes because of how close he feels to you
- will try to make you laugh while still buried inside you. try not to laugh too hard though or everything will slip out
- super handsy, rubbing them all over your body as if he hasnât just finished. likes to touch you all over, 1. you just feel good but also 2. itâs soothing to him
- if he stays like this too long though, heâll just start fucking you again. so itâs one or the other every single time. its usually that
- when he does pull out, it takes some convincing to get him off of you entirely, johnny likes to watch it all leak out of you, admiring your pretty body still. fills him with some sort of pride to see his work and effect on you
- gets up to get a cloth or a towel, something to wipe yourself with. sometimes he does it for you, likes to wipe you down softly, coming to rest himself between your legs once again
- throughly enjoys overstimulating you
- heâll kiss up and down your soft thighs, over your slit, telling you what a good girl youâve been for him
- his tongue collecting whatever the cloth missed, youâll be squirming below him, trying to get away from him (fat chance) johnny just holds you down, making you take all the overstimulation until youâre all cleaned up
- forces his way through your legs and back up to your face where he brings his lips down to yours, kissing you and letting you taste yourself on your tongue
- 9/10 you two go again anyway
- heâs insatiable
#joonieskinks#cod mw2#mw2 x reader#johnny soap mctavish x you#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#johnny mactavish x reader#soap x y/n#soap mactavish#soap x reader#soap call of duty#soap cod#cod soap x reader#soap mw2#john soap mactavish#cod imagine#cod masterlist#cod x reader#cod smut#ghost smut#soap smut#neil ellice#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Backburner | k.mg (18+)
There is a rule of thumb for casual relationships: do not fall in love with the other. Yet with Mingyu, it felt easier to watch the world burn than to stop yourself from falling for him.
one | two | three | four | five
Genre: friends with benefits, smut Pairing: Kim Mingyu x afab!Reader Warnings: angst, explicit content (18+) Notes: 21k words. Part 2 of the Heartbreak Hotel series, but can be read as a standalone fic. Listening to Backburner by NIKI. Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not know them personally and do not claim they would ever behave like they were portrayed in this story.
Playlist: Backburner by NIKI, Say Don't Go by Taylor Swift, Another You (Another Way) by Against the Current Taglist: @scoupsjin @iarayara @gaslysainz @silvermist002 @ssmebody @katfaceu
It was midnight, and what was usually a quiet evening was shattered by the persistent ringing of your phoneâtucked inside the drawer of your nightstand. You shifted from your comfortable position on the bed, laying on your back to stare at the ceiling, your ringtone still playing and making the nightstand buzz faintly.
âYou gotta be kidding me,â you muttered, groaning as you moved to grab your phone. The backlight made your eyes sting. Squinting at the words on the screen, you recognized the unique caller ID: âR18+++âÂ
One week of nothing and here he comes, calling you in the middle of the night. The audacity.
You shouldn't pick up. You were mad at him after all. But what if he had something important to say? Even if he didn't, would it really hurt if you pick up?
Not you trying to justify the desire to talk to him.
âHello?â you answered, against your better judgment (or not).
âHiâŠâ said Mingyu from the other line, his voice more dragged out than usual. Deeper. Lonelier. âDid I wake you?â
He did. âNo. Not at all.â
He hummed on the other side. âCan't sleep? What were you thinking about?â
âNothing important,â you sighed, sinking deeper into your soft pillow. âWhatâs up with you?â
âMe? I was just working on this paper,â he replied. You could hear him groaning as if he was stretching his limbs. âThis course is kicking my ass.â
âProfessor Jung?â you asked, remembering how he often complained about the same professor.
âYeah. Heâs the worst,â he chuckled but there was no humor in it. âIâve been staring at this screen all night, trying to make sense of it. You know when you read the same line over and over, and it still doesnât click?â
You hummed in acknowledgment, shifting on your bed. âSounds like every assignment Iâve ever done.â
He let out another laugh, soft and hollow. âRight? This oneâs on some theoretical nonsense. I keep typing, hoping somethingâs gonna make sense eventually, but itâs like... whatever. Iâll probably just wing it.â
You could hear the faint tapping of keys on his end as if he was still half-distracted by the work in front of him. But something felt off, and somehow, you knew exactly what it was. He didnât really want to talk about the homework, he was just stalling. The words were just fillerâsomething to pass the time, to keep the conversation going.
âMaybe Iâll just email the professor and tell him the universe swallowed my homework. Think heâd buy that?â Mingyu joked and you could hear the smile in his voice.
âProbably not,â you replied with a soft smile of your own, but your mind was elsewhere now, sensing the unspoken heaviness behind his casual complaints.
âYeah, I thought so,â he chuckled followed by a soft groan and the sound of him falling back on his bed.
Another pause settled between you, and this time you didnât wait for him to fill it with more empty chatter. âWanna come over?â you asked instead, and he was quiet for a moment.
âWell⊠yeah, Iâd love to. I meanâŠâ he paused and then chuckled. âIf itâs alright.â
You rolled your eyes. Of course, itâs alright. You'd always taken it in stride when he ghosted you and returned like nothing happened. Sometimes you wonder if he was genuinely oblivious or pretending not to know. âSure. You know where Iâll be.â
After hanging up, you let the phone slip from your hand, staring at the ceiling. You werenât supposed to do this. Mingyu was someone you shouldâve been keeping at armâs length, a complication you couldnât afford. The smart thing wouldâve been to ignore his call. But you didnât. No matter how much you tried to keep your distance, you would always find yourself waltzing back towards him.Â
You thought about how easy it would be to send a quick message, tell him not to come, maybe even block his number if you really wanted to make a clean break. You should. A single text, a few words, and it would all be over. Your fingers hovered over the screen, but you didnât type anything.
Then the knock came, gentle but firm, and you abandoned all protests, tossing them aside as easily as you tossed your phone back into the drawer. You didnât hesitate as you crossed the room, your hand already reaching for the doorknob.
When you opened the door, there he wasâtall, tousled hair, a lopsided smile, as if he wasnât entirely sure youâd actually let him in.
âHey,â Mingyu said softly, standing in the doorway like heâd been there dozens of times beforeâhe had.
âHi,â you replied, your heartbeat picking up pace, louder now that he was here, standing in front of you.
Without another word, he stepped inside, scooping you up by the waist like it was a habit, crashing his lips into yours. For a split second, your mind screamed at you to stop, to push him away, but your body betrayed you.Â
You kissed him back, letting yourself sink into the feeling. His hands moved to your back, pulling you even closer, and any remaining hesitation crumbled as the tension between you both sparked to life.
He was completely unaware, lost in the moment, and you let him beâbecause pretending felt easier than confronting the truth. It felt easier to let him kiss you like this, to let him believe everything between you was simpleâas if you werenât standing on the edge of something much heavier.
Mingyu pulled back just enough to look at you, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face with a grin. âIs Mina here?â His voice was teasing and light.
âYou wouldnât be here if she is,â you replied, breathless, your words barely forming as you watched him tug his sweater off, the urgency in his movements sending a fresh wave of heat through you.
For a moment, you stood there, watching as his sweater hit the floor, your heart racing against your better judgment. Here you go, again. You could stop it right hereâsend him home, tell him you donât want to see him again even if that was a lie. Again, you didnât. You reached for him, pulling him back toward you, his lips meeting yours with a kind of hunger that made you forget everything else.
The door clicked shut behind him, and with it, any resolve you thought you had.
âWait, hold up. Let me justââ You made a rolling gesture with your fingers, trying to gather your thoughts. ââroll it back a bit. I think I went straight to the intense part.â
Seungcheolâs calm demeanor didnât budge. He leaned back. âDidnât feel intense to me.â
âYeah, wellâŠâ You shifted in your seat. âI shouldâve started by telling you how we met, right? Or how we even ended up in⊠this kind of arrangement.â
He nodded. âContext would help.â
You paused, sipping your water. âOkay, so⊠I first met Mingyu in freshman year. Second semester, to be exact. We had one class togetherâgen-ed history. I was late the first day.â You smirked, remembering how rushed youâd been, shoes squeaking against the floor as you slipped into the back row, heart pounding from running across campus.
The only available seat was next to Mingyu. You didn't notice him at first because the room's quietness was the first to catch your attention.
You tugged his sleeve. âHey, sorry to bother you.â You told him your name. âI just came in. Did I miss anything important? I feel like I did.â
He glanced at you, brows slightly raised. He looked half amused, half confused. âI'm Kim Mingyu. And⊠yeah, you missed a bit. Professor gave us five minutes to pray for the diagnostic test.â
âPray?â youâd repeated, your disbelief clear, eyes wide as you stifled a laugh. âHow hard could a gen-ed diagnostic exam be?â
Very hard.Â
You cringed at the memory of that test and how you didnât know the answers for most of it. Mingyu was grinning beside you, walking in easy strides. âStill think you didnât need those five minutes to pray?â
You rolled your eyes, but there was no bite to it. âAlright, fine. Iâm humbled. But you donât have to be so smug about it.â
He chuckled, sliding his hands into his pockets. âIâm just teasing. Anyway, donât worry about it. The test wonât affect your grades or anything.â
Before you could respond, another classmate who overheard had stopped to join your conversation. âActually, it does count. It goes straight into your record.â
Mingyu snorted, clearly doubting it. âNo way. Itâs just a pre-assessment.â
âThe professor said so herself. You probably didnât hear because you left too soon.â She looked at you with a sympathetic smile. âBut hey, I bombed it too, so⊠youâre not alone.â
You felt a strange sense of closeness with her, but mostly, you were trying to process what that meant for your grades. âGreat,â you muttered, but you werenât sure if you were saying it sarcastically or just in defeat.
âI'm Mina,â she said, offering her hand for a shake.
âNice to meet you,â you chimed, shaking her hand and telling her your name.
âI know. See you around!â
When Mina walked away, you expected Mingyu to say something mocking, but instead, he just laughed lightly. âGuess I shouldâve prayed too.â
Over the next few weeks, Mingyu became someone you interacted with mostly during class. Youâd sit near each other by defaultâmainly because the two of you are often the last ones to arrive, you being late most of the time. You exchanged quiet jokes when the professor wasnât looking and sometimes teamed up when group discussions were required. But outside that lecture hall, you led entirely separate lives.
In the hallways, you'd pass by each other every now and then. Heâd nod or smileânever stopping, never lingering. Just a brief acknowledgment as you walked in opposite directions. Sometimes, youâd give him a quick wave, or heâd send you a lazy salute with his fingers.
During class breaks, when the professor let everyone stretch their legs for a few minutes, youâd talk. Mingyu liked to complain about how boring the lectures were, though his grumbling always seemed exaggerated, more for humor than actual frustration.
âThink I might pass out,â heâd groan, letting his head drop to the desk dramatically. âI donât know how anyone stays awake for this.â
âYouâd stay awake if you actually took notes,â youâd tease back, scribbling in your notebook as you spoke.
âAh, but see, thatâs what friends are for,â heâd reply, flashing you a playful grin. âYou can lend me yours later.â
âYouâre lucky youâre funny,â youâd retort, shaking your head with a smile.
But that was it. When class ended, he went his way, and you went yours. He wasnât someone who crossed your mind outside of that classroom, and you suspected it was the same for him. Mingyu wasnât a constant presence in your life, just a classmate who made lectures slightly more tolerable.
There was a comfort in that distance. He was easy to talk to, someone you didnât have to think too hard about. No expectations, no complications. Just small moments of shared boredom, passed with lazy smiles and half-hearted complaints.
For a while, that was all he wasâsomeone who filled the pauses between lectures. That is until the night of your first off-campus party for the semester.
The music pulsed around you, louder than it needed to be, vibrating through the floor and into your chest. You were seated at the edge of the crowded party, a half-empty cup of something strong in your hand, watching as your ex-boyfriend paraded his new girlfriend around like she was a shiny new toy. Every touch between them felt like a jab. You couldnât care less about him, not really. But watching him be all giggly and touchy with her after heâd cheated on you with her, no lessâyeah, that was annoying.
You took another sip from your drink, trying to keep your irritation in check. It didnât help that they were standing close enough that you could hear snippets of their conversationâhis low, stupid laugh and her breathy giggles.
âSomeoneâs pissed.â
The voice came from beside you, startling you out of your thoughts. You turned, finding Mingyu standing there with a half-smile, hands tucked in his hoodie pockets as he glanced over at your ex and his new girlfriend.
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you replied, though your sarcasm was clear.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, amused. âCome on. Iâve seen you shoot daggers at them from across the room.â
You sighed, leaning back in your chair and staring into your cup. âIâm not pissed. Just... annoyed.â
His eyes flicked over to the couple again, then back to you. âI get it. Ex-boyfriend?â
You hesitated but nodded. âYeah. Not that it matters. We broke up ages ago.â You bit your lip before adding, âBut he cheated on me with her. So, you know... watching them be all gross together isnât exactly fun.â
Mingyu winced in sympathy. âThatâs rough. Sounds like heâs not worth the headspace, though.â
âHeâs not,â you said quickly, and you meant it. âBut itâs still annoying.â
He snorted. âI donât blame you. If it makes you feel any better, they look like a bad reality show couple.â
You couldnât help but laugh at that. âYeah, they kinda do.â
Mingyu shrugged, leaning a little closer, his voice dropping. âIf itâs bugging you that much, want me to help you take your mind off it? We can head somewhere else, or... just stay here and make fun of them quietly. Your call.â
You hesitated, glancing at your ex one more time, then back at Mingyu. The idea of staying here, stewing in the background while they flaunted their new relationship, made your stomach turn. Maybe leaving was the better option.
âActually,â you said, standing up and finishing the last of your drink, âletâs get out of here. This partyâs boring anyway.â
Mingyuâs eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised but pleased. âAlright. Lead the way.â
The two of you slipped out of the crowded party and into the cooler, quieter night. The noise faded behind you as you stepped outside, the crisp air was a welcome relief from the stifling atmosphere of the party. You hadnât really thought about where you were going, just that you needed to leave.
âAny place in mind?â Mingyu asked, falling into step beside you, hands still casually tucked into his pockets.
You scoffed. âI donât know. This was your idea.â
He shrugged, glancing at the sky briefly before turning back to you. âWe could walk a bit. Sober up.â
âI barely drank.â
Mingyu nodded. âOkay, fair. If you want, Iâve got some soju and beer at my place. Not much, but itâs better than whatever was in that cup you were drinking.â
You glanced at him. There was no pressure in his tone, no hidden motiveâjust a suggestion. Still, something about the idea of going to his place made your heart beat a little faster.
âExactly how many ulterior motives do you have right now?â you asked, narrowing your eyes at him in mock suspicion.
A grin spread across his face. âFor now, zero,â he replied, showing a zero with his fingers.
âFor now?â You rolled your eyes. âBetter keep it at zero.â
Mingyu winced with a mock-hurt expression. âDo I have to make promises too? Man, this is a lot of work.â
âKim Mingyu!â
âOkay, okay,â he laughed, raising his hands. âCome on. Itâs this way.â
The walk to Mingyuâs apartment wasnât long, but the conversation between you was comfortable. He was funny, as always. By the time you reached his door, your cheeks were red and slightly hurting with how much you were laughing.
His place was a studio, small and cozy with a few mismatched pieces of furniture. It was tidy, except for the couch, which was covered in a pile of unfolded laundry.
âOh, crap,â he muttered, laughing awkwardly. âI forgot about that. Let me justââ
âOh, itâs okay. I donât mind at all,â you said, waving your hand dismissively.
âNah, thereâs nowhere else to sit,â he insisted, kicking off his shoes and quickly tidying the couch.
While he put his clothes into a basket, you took a moment to look around. The tidiness of his home was unexpected. You rarely judge peopleâs living spaces but it was surprising for a man to be this clean. Then again, that was just the stereotype speaking.
Mingyu grabbed two beers from the fridge, tossing you one as you settled onto the now-cleared couch.
You raised an eyebrow, inspecting the can. âYou promised me soju.â
He chuckled, opening his own drink. âWell, you told me to keep my motives in check, so soju is out of the table.â
âYouâre no fun.â
As you sipped your drinks, the conversation flowed easily. You talked about class, made fun of the test youâd failed, and joked about the people at the party. But somewhere between the laughter and the quiet moments, the atmosphere began to shift. The space between you felt a little smaller, the eye contact a little longer. It wasnât forced, just... there.
At some point, Mingyuâs arm stretched across the back of the couch, his fingers brushing against your shoulder. You didnât move away. Instead, you leaned into him slightly, the warmth of his presence comforting.
âI think you should go,â he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
âWow, okay. Thereâs no need to shoo me away. Iâll go,â you scoffed, offended. You stood up instantly, reaching for your jacket but he grabbed your wrist.
âNo, I donât meanââ he paused, sighing as he looked at your annoyed expression. âIâm sorry. Come sit. Donât go.â
You didnât answer, instead, swatted his hand away and put on your jacket. Mingyu stood up, taking your hand and squeezing it.
âPlease,â he sighed, holding your gaze.
You were exasperated. âWhatâs wrong with you? Why are you acting so confusing all of a sudden?â
There was a glint of hesitation on his face. âCan I be honest?â
You retracted your hand and crossed your arms over your chest. Then you raised an eyebrow, urging him to speak.
Mingyu leaned back slightly, his expression shifting to something more serious. âI have at least six ulterior motives.â
You raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. âSix? What are they?â
âAre you sure you want to find out?â he asked back, but it didnât seem like a question to know how curious you were. Somehow, it sounded as if he was asking for permission.
You held his gaze, feeling the warmth radiating from him, the air around you charged with an intensity you couldnât ignore. Time seemed to slow as you considered his question.
Finally, you broke the silence, your voice steady but low. âYes.â
Before you could think about what came next, he leaned in, closing the distance between you. His hand slipped around your waist, pulling you just a little closer. There was no hesitation this time, no second thoughts. The tension that had been building all night finally found its release as he leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a tentative kiss.
You kissed him back, slowly at first, as if testing the waters, but it didnât take long before the hesitation melted away. You know where this was goingâbut whether it was just the alcohol, the moment, or something more that drove you to do this, you didn't know. But for now, it didnât matter. All that mattered was the way Mingyuâs lips felt against yours, the quiet hum of desire building between you as you let yourself get lost in the moment.
Your fingers drummed rhythmically on the table, eyeing Seungcheol as if trying to gouge out his thoughts. His head was tilted slightly, thinking about your question: âWhat do you think happened next?â
âYou became friends with benefits,â he said with certainty.
Your fingers stopped abruptly. âReally? You didnât think weâd started dating after that?â
He shrugged nonchalantly. âDid you?â
âNo,â you replied sheepishly. âBut you seemed so sure that we were gonna be friends with benefits.â
âI had a hunch. It didnât seem like your connection was building up to a romantic relationship just yet.â
You scowled, confused. âWhat do you mean? You didnât think our connection was romantic?â
âNot at all. You were just friends. There was nothing that hinted any romance until the night you went to his flat.â
âAh, I see what you mean.â
Seungcheol nodded, not smiling but he seemed pleased with himself. âSo, what happened next?â
What happened next? You and Mingyu became friends with benefits, thatâs what happened. Despite that arrangement, Mingyu was thoughtful in ways that made it hard to draw a clear line between what was casual and what wasnât.
At university, nothing changed. You were still just classmatesâmaybe not even that close. Youâd smile at each other in passing, maybe sit near each other in a lecture like usual, but that was it. To anyone else, you were barely acquaintances. But behind closed doors, it was differentâpassionate, fervent, and surreally euphoric.
Soon after that first night, you moved your rendezvous to your place. Your apartment was bigger than Mingyuâs tiny studio, with enough space for both of you to comfortably exist, though most of the time you didnât bother with space. Whenever he came over, it didnât take long for his hands to find you or for you to pull him in. There was something magnetic between you, like a spark that kept reigniting no matter how many times you tried to cool it down.
The passion was always there, and you were always eager to touch each other. Sometimes, you wouldnât even make it to the bedâhis lips on yours, your hands tugging at his shirt, and before you knew it, youâd be tangled in each other, the sheets forgotten. Other times, when the heat had subsided, youâd lay there talking, conversations flowing easily about anything and everything.
It was odd, in a wayâhow effortless it felt when you were alone together. You could laugh, joke, and even sit in silence without any discomfort. Yet, in public, it was like nothing existed between you. Mingyu never brought it up, and neither did you. It was easier that way. You werenât together, after allâjust two people who couldnât get enough of each other when no one was watching.
Sometimes, the heat was so consuming, that it blurred the lines between passion and affection. And yet, after the fire died down, there was always this: Mingyu, showing up with bread that you loved, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
âYouâre here already?â you asked, surprised to see Mingyu standing in your living room, browsing your bookshelf like he had all the time in the world.
âHey, beautiful,â he greeted, flashing a smile as he carefully returned a small ceramic bear to its place.
âHow did you get here so fast? You texted me like ten minutes ago,â you said, dropping your bag on the sofa as you walked toward him.Â
âI was nearby,â he said with a casual shrug, wrapping his arms around your waist. His lips met yours in a soft kiss, the familiar spark flickering between you. When he pulled away, he said, âI picked up some bread on my way here.â
âNo way, is it the same ones you brought last time?â You couldnât hide your excitement as you reached for the bakery bag heâd left on the coffee table.
He nodded, looking pleased with himself. âYep, thatâs the one.â
You sat in the living room that afternoon, talking over warm cups of chocolate and bread. You barely paid attention to the football game on the TV, giggling and pawing at each other, feeling cozy despite the cold weather outside.
At some point, Mingyuâs hands moved to your shoulders, and you sighed in contentment. âThanks, I needed this,â you murmured, closing your eyes as his skilled fingers worked through the tension. It was one of Mingyuâs many skills, massages.
He leaned closer, pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder. âWe should take this inside.â
You opened one eye, pretending not to understand. âTake what inside?â
Mingyu chuckled, his lips curving against your skin. âWell, if you want to do it here, thatâs fine too but we should probably turn off the TV. I donât feel comfortable having my idols watch,â he replied, making you turn to face him.
âYour idols?â
Mingyu shrugged and then nodded towards the TV where the football game was still on. Scoffing, you grabbed a throw pillow and hit him with it. You both laughed about it for a while, but eventually decided to lock yourselves in your bedroom.
Later that night, you stirred, the quiet glow of a laptop screen pulling you from sleep. Blinking, you realized Mingyu was no longer beside you. He was sitting on the floor, his back resting against the bed, fingers tapping rapidly on the keys.
Reaching out, you squeezed his shoulder. âWhat are you doing?â you asked, your voice thick with sleep.
Mingyu paused, turning slightly to kiss your knuckles. âGo back to sleep, baby. I just need to finish this.â
âCanât it wait till morning?â you mumbled, burying your face in the pillow.
He shifted closer, wrapping an arm around you. With a soft shush, he ran his fingers through your hair. âShh, itâs okay. Iâll be done soon. Just sleep.â
You sighed, eyes fluttering shut as he kissed your forehead. At that moment, it seemed so normal, so typical of him. But you didnât realize at the timeâit was a sign that Mingyu had trouble sleeping through the night.
Mingyu had a quiet way of making you feel seen. It wasnât grand gestures or romantic proclamations, but in the little things he didâthoughtful acts that slipped under the radar until you realized just how much attention he paid. One time during class, he came over holding a tiny ceramic bear, almost shy as he handed it to you.
âWhatâs this?â you asked, turning the figurine over in your hands.
âI noticed that your bear family didnât have a dad, so,â he said with a small grin, watching as your eyes lit up in recognition.Â
It was such a simple thing, but the fact that he remembered your collection, that heâd thought of youâit left you feeling touched.
âYou didnât have to do this,â you murmured, smiling. âBut thanks.â
âItâs a grizzly, not a polar bear. Is that okay?â
âAre you kidding me? Itâs perfect,â you giggled. âHeâll have to take up the responsibility of taking care of kids who arenât his though.â
Mingyu shrugged, though there was a quiet satisfaction in his expression. âHeâll be a good stepdad to them. I can vouch.â
âYou barely know the guy,â you laughed, playing along.
It wasnât just gifts. Mingyu had a habit of taking care of the little things in your life without even asking. Like the time the lightbulb in your bathroom had gone out. You didnât mention it to him, but the next time he came over, he had a replacement bulb in his bag.Â
âDidnât realize you were an electrician now,â you joked as he stood on a chair, screwing in the new bulb.
He laughed. âJust figured youâd forget to buy one.â
âI wasnât going to forget,â you protested, even though he was right. âBut⊠thanks.â
It was like that often with himâeffortless, natural.
âAlright, letâs see,â he said, stepping down from the chair and reaching for the switch to test if it worked. When it did, he let out a satisfied hum. âThere you go. Good as new.â
âHow much for your labor, good sir?â you quipped, wiping away the tiny beads of sweat forming on his forehead.
The grin Mingyu gave you was menacing, shamelessly checking you out in your tank top and shorts. âIâll have you know I do not accept monetary fees.â
You knew what he meant and he made it especially clear when he casually pressed his palm on your left boob. You just scoffed and swatted his hand away. âI see you work pro bono. Thanks a lot.â
With a teasing grin, you walked away. In the kitchen, he cooked dinner while you sat on the counter, munching on an apple. You found it amusing that the wok he used was something he had brought from his own flat. It's been in your kitchen for a while now. Today, he brought his own kitchen knife.
âYou might as well move in at this rate,â you teased after he warned you to be careful with his sharp knife. âWhatâs next? A drawer for your clothes?â
He raised an eyebrow. âIâll consider it.â
âYou might as well do since youâre here almost every day,â you jeered. âYou should bring your own toothbrush too.â
âAh, that reminds me.â He moved toward you, placing a kiss on your cheek as he rummaged through the paper bag resting on your lap. From there, he fished out two toothbrushes, holding them up like a peace offering. âLook. They came in pairs.â
You laughed, shaking your head. âI use an electric toothbrush, you know.â
âThen keep it as a backup,â he shrugged, still grinning. âOr don't. Itâs not a big deal.â
Youâd joked at first, but eventually, you started using the toothbrush he brought. It felt like a small connection, something that tied him a little more closely to you, even if neither of you talked about it.
And he remembered everything. When you ordered food, he always knew exactly what you wanted without asking. âChicken katsu with extra sauce,â heâd say, already placing the order. Heâd put on music that matched your mood perfectly, like the playlists you loved but never had to mention. Even the book you had been readingâhe remembered the title, asked if youâd finished it yet.
Those little moments kept piling up, making it harder to separate the physical nature of your relationship from the real deal. Every time he remembered, every time he took care of something small, you wondered if maybe this wasnât just friends with benefits after all.
But then there were moments of uncertainty that made you question how much you really knew about him. Sometimes, in quiet moments, he would zone out, lost in thought. You vividly remember one evening when you were curled up together on the couch, a movie playing softly in the background. You had been laughing at the antics on-screen, leaning into him, when you glanced over and found him staring blankly at the flickering light of the television.
When he slept over, youâd sometimes wake up to find him staring at the ceiling. His face was relaxed, but there was a tension in the way his jaw was set, a hint of a furrow in his brow. You reached out to touch his face, hoping to draw him back into the intimacy you cherished.
âMingyu?â you whispered, your voice thick with sleep. Heâd blinked, as if waking from a dream, and he turned to you then. For a brief moment, you saw a flicker of something vulnerable in his eyes before he masked it with a smile. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothing. I was just⊠thinking,â he replied, his voice trailing off. You could see it in his eyesâsomething was weighing heavily on him, a thought he was wrestling with that he didnât want to share.
âAbout what?â you prodded, trying to gouge out somethingâanything that heâs willing to share. He shifted slightly as if the question made him uncomfortable.
âJust stuff. Donât worry about it,â he said, a noncommittal answer that only left you more curious. He pulled you closer in a warm embrace. âLetâs go back to sleep.â
The way he shrugged it off felt like a wall going up between you, and for a moment, the warmth of his embrace dissipated. You didnât push further; you never wanted to pressure him. Instead, you closed your eyes, though you couldnât shake the feeling that something was off.
You wanted to know, to understand what made him so distant at times, but every time you tried to get closer, he would slip away like sand through your fingers. You had asked about it in passing, and while he always deflected your inquiries with a joke or a change of subject, it left you wondering if there was more to his silence. You didnât want to overthink it; after all, it didnât happen often. Or so you told yourself, hoping that with time, he would open up.
But instead of that, Mingyu disappeared, leaving behind an emptiness that echoed in the spaces where he once filled your days with warmth and laughter.
âAre you keeping up?â you questioned, raising an eyebrow at Seungcheol who seemed to be quite slow at processing what youâd just told him.
âYeah, of course. Though, Iâm not gonna lie. Iâm a little lost,â he admitted, arms crossed and holding his chin. âIf you donât mind, can I ask why he disappeared?â
You smirked, standing up at once. âIâm gonna need a drink for this.â
Seungcheolâs understood. âBy all means.â
Mingyuâs disappearance wasnât sudden or unexpected; there were signs you hadnât recognized until he was gone. It began with him replying late to your messages, then not replying at all. Youâd see him in class, and when you approached, he didnât avoid you outright but dodged your questions and made excuses to avoid conversation. Eventually, he started sitting on the opposite side of the lecture hall, far from you and even missed a handful of classes.
You were upset, not just because he chose to stop seeing you but because he didnât give you any warning. You had been easing into it, getting used to the idea of something more. But when he left so abruptly, you felt foolish.
Still, you had to come to terms with the fact that there was no commitment between youâwhat you shared was temporary, and he was free to walk away just as you were. It didnât change the fact that his action was a total jerk move.
âItâs okay. We were just fooling around anyway,â you told yourself after almost two weeks of silence. You forced a smile at your reflection in the mirror. âThatâs right. Youâll be fine.â
You tried to push Mingyu out of your mind, diving into a busy social lifeâgoing out with friends and meeting new people. At one party, you were in the midst of flirting with a cute guy when you spotted Mingyu across the room. A wave of warmth washed over you at the sight of him, but you played it cool, pretending to be engrossed in your conversation.Â
âSo, are you always at Jinwooâs party?â you asked, trying to sound charming but feeling more like a dork.
âOnly when thereâs free food,â he replied, a little too eagerly.
You forced a laugh, trying to play along. âWell, they do have snacks... and drinks.â
He leaned in closer. âYou know, Iâm really into snacks. Like, I could talk about snacks all night.â
Your stomach turned slightly at the sudden wave of ick. You couldnât tell if he was serious, or just saying it to be funny. What the hell does that even mean?
You caught a glimpse of Mingyu from the corner of your eye, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching the exchange with an amused expression. Heat rushed to your cheeks as you realized how embarrassing this wasâMingyu was listening, and you couldnât bear the thought of him hearing you flounder like this.
âRight, snacks. Thatâs... cool.â You shot him a tight smile, glancing around the room in a bid to escape. âSpeaking of snacks, Iâm gonna go get me some more. Excuse me,â you smiled and slipped away from the guy, the weight of Mingyuâs gaze following you as you headed outside.
âWow, that was awful,â Mingyu said, appearing beside you just as you stepped into the cool air.
âYou,â you spat, glaring at him.
âHello to you too,â he replied, a playful smirk tugging at his lips.
You narrowed your eyes at him, crossing your arms. âWhatâs your opinion on people eavesdropping on otherâs conversations instead of minding their own business?â
âI wasnât eavesdropping,â he teased, though the grin on his face suggested otherwise. âI canât help it if you guys were loud enough for me to hear, can I?â
âThat doesnât change the fact that itâs none of your business,â you replied smartly, looking away with a frown.
Mingyuâs laugh was deep, the kind that made your stomach twist in a way that was all too familiar. âAlright. Iâm sorry. How about hanging out with me so you need not deal with all those lame guys?â
âPretty sure youâre much much lamer,â you scoffed.Â
He called your name softly, a teasing smile playing on his lips but his eyes were more serious than before. You failed to ignore the way your heart began to race. âLighten up. I missed you, you know.â
You raised an eyebrow. âOh? Do you now?â
âI did.â Mingyuâs gaze flickered to your lips for a split second before he grinned again. âI missed you so much, I thought Iâd go nuts.â
The confession caught you off guard but your annoyance was stronger. You scoffed, struggling to hold back and trying not to just go ahead and smack him. âThen you shouldnât have ghosted me like that.â
His smile faltered slightly. The air between you shifted again, the playful banter fading into something heavier. Mingyu didnât respond right away, and the silence that followed wasnât awkwardâjust filled with something unspoken.
After a long pause, he finally nodded. âYeah, youâre right. Iâm sorry about that.â
You smirked, looking away and fixing your gaze into nothing. He should be sorry, itâs only right to be. But the fact remained: you were not in the kind of relationship where you could hold him hostage for something he was allowed to do. Yet here you were, feeling more hurt than you were allowed to be.
You let the silence hang between you, thick with unspoken tension. It went on for a while before it was broken by the sound of people clambering out of the main door, their drunken laughter echoing in the cool night air.
âWanna get out of here?â Mingyu finally asked, breaking the spell.
âTook you long enough to ask,â you replied, striding toward the street with him following closely behind.
As you were passing by the parking lot filled with cars, Mingyu suddenly grabbed your hand. âWeâre not walking to your apartment. Thatâs like a mile-long hike.â
âWhat?â you asked, confused but still allowing him to lead you toward a black SUV.
He opened the passenger door and gestured for you to get in. While he rounded the car to the driverâs side, you glanced around the unfamiliar interior, a fleeting thought crossing your mind that maybe this wasnât his car. But as soon as he slid into the seat and turned the key in the ignition, you relaxed a little.
âPlease tell me this is yours and you didnât just steal it.â
Mingyu chuckled, his smile easing some of your lingering unease. âWhy would you think that?â
âBecause last time I checked, you didnât have a car,â you replied, watching him navigate the vehicle out of the parking lot.
âOh, this is my dadâs. Heâs letting me borrow it while Iâm staying with them.â
You blinked, surprised. That was the first time Mingyu had mentioned his family or anything about his life outside of university. Naturally, curiosity sparked in you.
âYou moved back to your familyâs house?â you asked, hoping to finally get some insight into where heâd disappeared to.
âYeah, had to,â he said casually, his gaze fixed on the road ahead.
âWhy?â
He hesitated, fingers tightening on the steering wheel for just a second before he shrugged. âJust some stuff came up. Nothing major.â
There was something vague about his response, and you could sense the conversation wasnât going to go any deeper. Heâd always been good at deflecting when it came to his personal life.
You nodded, accepting the explanation without pressing further, even though the curiosity still lingered in the back of your mind. It was frustrating, but at the same time, youâd gotten used to the fact that Mingyu shared only what he wanted, and nothing more. Maybe it was just his way of keeping distanceâemotional distance, that is.
When you arrived at your apartment, you barely had time to take a breath before Mingyuâs arms wrapped around you, pulling you into him. It was like being caged, but in a way that made you feel safe, wanted. You couldnât explain how much you had missed thisâmissed him. His warmth, his touch, the way his presence alone seemed to fill the space around you.
As you moved together from the living room to the bedroom, it felt inevitable, like gravity pulling you into his orbit once again. You knew you were letting yourself fall, diving headfirst into the abyss of passion and euphoria that was Kim Mingyu. And yet, even knowing that, you didnât stop yourself.
You couldnât.
âYou missed me, didnât you?â he whispered as he took your breast in his mouth.
Yes, you wanted to scream out, but all that ever left your mouth was a lewd moan. And when he heard that, he slid a hand under your dress, moving down to your hips and slipping inside your lace panties to put pressure there. He caressed your sex slowly, and then urgently in circling motions while his kisses trailed up from your breast to your neck, nipping at the supple skin before they found your lips.
Your hands had a mind of their own, greedily removing his jacket, and then running your fingers on the firm muscles and warm skin underneath. As the pleasure grew, it clouded your brain and you clung your arms around his neck in fear that your trembling legs would collapse under you.
âLie down, baby,â he rasped in your ear, pushing you gently towards the bed.
You let yourself fall on the mattress, bouncing slightly. You watched as he undid his belt and kicked off his jeans before moving to undress you out of your dress. You saw how he ogled your body with those beautiful lustful eyes before he hovered over you and traced the outline of your face with his fingers.
âDo you have any idea how amazing you are?â he whispered. He slid a finger into your mouth and you sucked it, making him exhale sharply and dive in to kiss you feverishly.
You were almost breathless with desire, your skin prickling with anticipation of what was about to happenâof what Mingyu was about to do. You could feel him against your thigh, hot and hard, so you spread your legs open, welcoming him.
And then with one push, he was filling youâstretching you in the most exquisite way possible. His body pressed against you as he thrust in and out in a rhythm that sent ripples of pleasure through every single nerve in your body.
And all of a sudden, he stopped, leaving you momentarily confused. He stood up and said, âCome here.âÂ
Without a word, you obliged, walking toward him in a haste. He then spinned you around so you were facing the full-length mirror in the corner of your room. âTake a good look at yourself.â
You saw yourself in the mirror; messy hair, flushed cheeks, and your lips swollen from kissing. You could see him in your reflection, standing behind you with fire in his eyes. You watched as he reached for your breast, while his other hand cupped your sex, collecting the slick in his hand before bringing it to his tongue.
You gasped at how hot he looked, and seeing your reaction made Mingyu grin. Without warning, he pushed you back on the bed, lifted you by the waist so your ass was sticking out. Then he pressed your face on the mattress before you felt a sharp, delightful pain on your buttcheek where he smacked you with his palm.
âOh, Mingyu!â you cried out.
He leaned down to whisper in your ear. âThatâs not loud enough, baby.â
âMingyu, please!â you begged, needing nothing but to be filled again.
Once again, he pushed his cock inside you, making you whimper in the most obscene manner.
âFuck,â he grunted. His fingers dug hard into your hips as he thrust deeply and vigorously. Your hand held onto the sheets, pleasure so intense that you couldnât think anymoreâyou couldnât even see your own naked, sweaty self in the mirror in front of you. But you could hear the sound of bodies slamming into each other again and again and a breathless moan that must have been coming from your own throat.
When the ecstatic high engulfed the two of you, he loosened his hold of your waist and your legs felt so weak you could barely hold yourself up. So you collapsed on the bed, followed by Mingyu, panting beside you with a satisfied look on his face.Â
âHow was that?â he said smugly, knowing damn well how wonderful he made you feel.
You just laughed, snuggling into him as you put off washing up for a few more minutes.
The heated passion gave way to a quiet intimacy as you both settled into bed. The sound of rain tapping against the window filled the silence, soothing and rhythmic.
You chatted lazily about random thingsâmusic, classes, friendsâuntil you finally gathered the courage to ask, âWhat happened to you? Whereâve you been?â
âIâm really sorry. I got busy with school and stuff at home,â Mingyu replied, his tone casual. But you could sense something unspoken beneath his words, as always. âDid you miss me?â he added, trying to keep it light.
You had missed him. A lot. But you werenât about to admit that. âBarely. Didnât even notice you were gone.â
Mingyu chuckled, clearly not buying it. âIs that why you were out there flirting with every cute guy you meet?â
You raised an eyebrow, grinning. âYou seem to know an awful lot about me. One might think youâre interested or something.â
He laughed softly, the kind of laugh that made your stomach flutter. âYouâll find that I am, in fact, very interested,â he said with a quiet conviction. And suddenly, the air between you shifted again, filled with tensionâdesire mingling with uncertainty.
âSay,â Mingyu began, his voice lowering as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear. âDo you want to be exclusive?â
Your heart raced at the word. âExclusiveâŠ? Likeââ
âLike not sleeping with other people,â he clarified, though that wasnât quite the question you were about to ask.
You were about to ask if he meant dating. Thank God you didnât.
âOhâŠâ you trailed off, unsure how to respond. âWhy?â
Mingyu shrugged, his tone still casual. âNo reason. Itâs okay if you donât want to. Youâre free to do whatever you want. But⊠itâd be nice, donât you think?â
There was no reason to say no. The truth was, youâd stopped considering other guys long ago, the moment this thing with Mingyu began. Still, his offer made your heart raceâboth giddy and nervous. But there was no way youâd let him see that.
âI donât know. Doesnât seem like a fair deal,â you quipped, hiding behind banter.
Mingyu narrowed his eyes at you, curious. âWait, what does that mean?â
You shrugged again, refusing to elaborate, though it didnât really mean anything.
âHold onâwhat?â He sat up, feigning shock, and flexed his arms dramatically. âYou donât think this is a fair deal?â
âWhere?â you teased, squinting at his muscles like you couldnât see them.
Mingyu grinned and started flexing even harder, pointing out specific muscles like they were on display. âYou seriously donât see this? Look closely and tell me this isnât a fair deal.â
You giggled, reaching for him with your toes. Grinning, he grabbed your foot and pulled you toward him. The sudden tug made you squeal.
âCome on, baby, take it back.â He leaned down, hovering over you, eyes soft. âTake it back while Iâm still being nice.â
âI didnât ask you to be nice,â you taunted, your coy smile daring him.
Mingyu chuckled low in his throat. âYouâre extra beautiful when youâre naughty, did you know that?â
âNo idea,â you replied, grinning as he leaned in, capturing your lips again. When his hand cupped your boob, you pulled away from the kiss and pushed him off. âNo.â
âAw, fine,â he sighed in defeat, falling next to you on the bed. Quietly, he settled behind you, wrapping an arm around your torso and sliding his other arm under your head. âGet some rest.â
He didn't say much after that, but there was a warmth in the way he pulled you closer, an unconscious act of intimacy that made your chest tighten.
It hit you thenâhow much youâd come to crave moments like this, not just the passion, but the feeling of being with him, of having him there with you in the silence. Youâd never felt this way before, not even with past relationships, and the realization made your heart race. You were falling for him, had already fallen. It wasnât the way he teased you or the way he kissed you, but the quiet moments in between, where you felt like he saw you, really saw you.
It had been a long week. Between schoolwork, dealing with your chaotic schedule, and pretending like everything with Mingyu was still as casual as it used to be, you were exhausted. The tension gnawed at youâthis thing between you two was starting to feel like more than it should. It wasnât something you were ready to acknowledge yet, but it lingered in the back of your mind.
You walked into your apartment after a particularly grueling day, half-expecting the silence to greet you. When you walked into the kitchen for water, you found a small plastic bag filled with food on the table. Next to it was a tiny ceramic panda bear, about half the size of your palm.
You blinked, trying to process it. It wasnât there this morning. Mingyu mustâve stopped by.
You walked over to the counter, looking at the items. Inside the bag were a couple of your favorite snacksânothing big, just the kind of things you liked to nibble on when you were too tired to cook. There was no note, but the panda felt like something only he would give you. It was cute in an oddly sentimental way, like he knew youâd smile at it.
You heard a knock at the door and quickly set the bear back on the counter, hurrying to open it. Mingyu stood there, casual as ever.
âHey,â he said, flashing you that familiar, easygoing grin.
âHey,â you replied, smiling back. âDid you stop by earlier? Or do I have a creepy psychopathic stalker whoâs obsessed with me and thinks itâs romantic to leave food for me at home while Iâm away?â
Mingyu laughed heartily. âWhat are you gonna do if the creepy psychopathic stalker was me?â
âIâm calling the police,â you told him, closing the door to his face. He didnât stop you, nor did he knock for about thirty seconds after you closed the door so you opened it again. âCome on in, then.â
âI was in the area so I thought Iâd drop by and surprise you but you werenât home,â he explained, kicking his shoes off at the foyer.
âSnacks and a panda?â you asked, raising an eyebrow but smiling. âThatâs quite a combination.â
Mingyu shrugged, a soft laugh escaping him. âI saw it in this shop near campus. And I figured if it was you, you wouldnât leave it alone in that shop.â
âI donât go around adopting every bear figurine I see, Mingyu,â you snorted, picking up the panda again.
âMaybe, but since heâs already here, you should have it up there with your little bear family,â he beamed, taking the panda from your hand and placing it up on the shelf with the rest of your bear collections. âShe can be their Chinese aunt.â
âBecause sheâs from China?â you asked and saw him nod his head. You both laughed. âIâm sure they appreciate you making their family bigger.â
âThanks for saying that,â he smiled, not the mischievous kind of smile that he usually sported, but a sincere oneâas if he was touched by your statement. âIâm glad I could make them happy,â he added, staring at the bear family.
You stared at him for a moment, something warm and unfamiliar swelling in your chest. This wasnât just some casual fling anymore, was it? You tried to play it cool, but the way he just knewâthe way he quietly showed up in your life, making you feel special in small but wonderful waysâmade it harder to keep pretending you didnât care. You could only hope heâd open up to you and let you into his world. That way, you could love him properly.
âThanks,â you said softly. âItâs cute.â
âYeah?â he asked, turning his gaze back at you. âYouâre cute.â
You rolled your eyes, though your heart skipped a beat. âShut up.â
Mingyu chuckled, leaning against the wall, watching you with an unreadable expression. It was like he wanted to say something but was holding back. You were holding back too, both of you toeing the line of something you could not bring up.
âIâll make you dinner,â you offered, trying to fill the silence.
âYou donât have to,â Mingyu replied, but you were already walking toward the kitchen, grateful for the distraction.
The rest of the evening was spent with each otherâs company, sitting together on the sofa with your head resting on his chest as he absentmindedly stroked your hair. The silence wasnât awkward or strained; if anything, it was soothing, the kind of peace that made you feel safe and whole.
It is in moments like this that you realize you need not fill every moment with words. Being with him like this was comfortable and nice.
Mingyu shifted slightly, one hand holding your shoulder as he reached for his phone on the coffee table. You glanced up at him, watching as the light from the screen cast soft shadows across his face. Youâd memorized every detail of how he looked by nowâthe sharp lines of his jaw, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, that playful smirk he always wore. But tonight, something about him felt different. His dark hair, slightly disheveled, framed his forehead just the right way, and you couldnât help but think of how soft it lookedâhow soft it felt the mornings you ran your fingers through it when he was half-asleep. He always looked good, like some kind of casual perfection, but right now, with his face relaxed in the glow of the phone, he looked almost unreal.
Youâd thought he was handsome the day you met himâheâd always had that charm that caught you off guardâbut now, now that youâd spent nights tracing every inch of him, mornings laughing at how messy his hair could get, and afternoons like this where he seemed so unaware of how much space he took up in your thoughts... it hit you all over again. He wasnât just good-looking. He was beautiful in a way that made you ache a little, like your mind couldnât fully comprehend that someone like him was sitting here with you.
His voice broke through your reverie, a gentle reminder that this wasnât some dream youâd conjured up. He really was here. âAh, I almost forgot. Exams start tomorrow. Are you ready?â
You pressed your lips together in a tight line, suddenly reminded of the real world. âIâve gone through all my notes, but Iâm not sure,â you muttered, the conversation feeling trivial compared to what was really on your mind. You werenât thinking about exams. You were thinking about how, with him beside you like this, nothing else seemed to matter.
âWe could pray,â he snickered. âFor our grades.â
You rolled your eyes. âAs if you have to. Youâre gonna ace everything and graduate with flying colors.â
Mingyu chuckled. âWeâre freshmenâages away from graduation.â
âYes, but if you continue at your current pace, youâd really graduate with distinction.â
He hummed, kissing your forehead. âYou think too highly of me. I like it more when you used to call me a himbo. Less pressure.â
Without thinking, you let out a soft sigh, turning to look at him. Really look at him. His focus had shifted back to his phone, his long fingers casually scrolling through whatever app he was on, but there was a subtle tension in his jaw, like maybe he was thinking about something too.
âLetâs go to bed. Iâm tired,â you said, nuzzling into his shirt.
Mingyu sighed, pulling you closer as he placed his phone down. âSorry. I have to be home tonight.â
âOh.â You didnât mean for it to sound so disappointed, but it slipped out anyway.
Mingyu rubbed the back of his neck, clearly sensing the shift. âI just have to help out at home tonight. My parentsâŠâ He trailed off, leaving the explanation half-formed, and you didnât press him for more.
âRight. Of course,â you said, forcing a small smile. âYou donât have to explain.â
There was an awkward pause before he kissed the top of your head again, his voice soft. âIâll see you tomorrow, okay?â
âYeah, sure.â You sat up as he rose from the couch, the warm space he left behind feeling a little colder already.
Mingyu grabbed his jacket from the chair, glancing at you with a small, apologetic smile. âIâll text you.â
You nodded, watching as he left, and once the door clicked shut behind him, the silence of the room felt a little too loud.
âHeâs just busy with exams,â you told yourself, sitting in your living room with your elbows propped on your knees, chin in your hands. You stared at the bears on the bookshelf, speaking to them as though they could somehow offer an answer. âOr maybe he had stuff to take care of at home.â
It had been four days, and you hadnât heard from Mingyu. He texted after he left your apartment like he said he would, but after thatânothing. The last thing he mentioned was that he was spending time with his father. But then, radio silence.
âHe should at least check in on me, right?â you muttered, leaning back into the sofa. âItâs been four days.â
Just as you were spiraling further into your thoughts, your phone buzzed in your hand, making you sit back up with a jolt. Your heart raced at the thought of Mingyu finally texting you, but your excitement died down as quickly as it came. It was just Mina.
Mina: otw to pick u up. U ready?
âOh, shit,â you cursed, bolting upright. You scrambled to your bedroom, throwing on the first outfit you could find that was semi-decent for a party.
You spent the next five minutes getting ready, knowing Mina lived nearby and would be here in less than ten minutes. By the time you heard the knock on your door, you were almost done with your makeup, except for the lipstick that you decided youâd do in the car.
âComing!â you called out, rushing to slip on your shoes as you headed for the door. But when you flung the door open, it wasnât Mina standing outside.
Mingyu stood there, his hands tucked into his hoodie pockets, wearing the faintest of smiles. âHi.â
âMingyu!â you exclaimed, gripping the doorknob to resist the urge to leap into his arms. âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
 âI thought Iâd drop by. Is now a bad time?â
âNo! I mean, yesâkinda! Iâm going to Hoshiâs party,â you rambled.
Mingyu nodded, a flicker of realization crossing his face. âAh! I was supposed to go there too. Should we go together?â
âMy friends are already on their way to pick me up,â you said quickly, wincing. âCome inside for a bit.â
You pulled him in by the sleeve, shutting the door before Mina could catch you in this whirlwind of confusion. Mingyu was hereâafter four days of nothingâand suddenly, all those unspoken thoughts came rushing back. Why hadnât he reached out? What was going on?
âYou said youâre supposed to go to the party?â you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.
âYeah,â he answered, walking closer and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His sigh was long, deep, and heavy. Much heavier than you expected.
âIs everything okay?â you asked, placing a gentle hand on his back.
âYeah, itâs just⊠Iâve been exhausted these days,â he confessed, sighing again. He wrapped his arms around your waist. âLetâs just stay like this for a while.â
And you did. You let him stay there, gently stroking his back in hopes that it would bring him comfort from whatever it was that was bothering him. It was as if you could sense the weight of his worries pressing down on him.
In that silence, your mind raced. You wanted to ask what was wrong, but something in his demeanor urged you to hold back. Instead, you focused on the rhythm of his breathing, the steady rise and fall of his chest. He needed this comfort, and for now, it felt like enough to be there for him. You didnât move, not even when you heard the first series of knocks on your door. You just stood there, giving Mingyu the warmest hug you could offer.
When the second knocks came, followed by Minaâs voice calling your name, Mingyu pulled away. âIs that your ride?â
âYeah,â you replied softly, almost in a whisper.
He smiled at you, tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear, lingering for a momentâthumb gently tracing the line of your jaw. âIâll see you there, then.âÂ
âAlright,â you whispered, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on his cheek. âIâll go first, okay? You can stay for as long as you need.â
âThanks,â he said, kissing your lips softly.
In the car with your friends, your mind was preoccupied with thoughts of Mingyu. Is he okay? What happened? Why did he seem upset and sad? Where was he these past few days?
âWhereâs Mingyu these days?â Mina asked, tugging on your elbow to get your attention. âYou guys are close, right?â
âHuh?â you asked, surprised by the question. What you have with Mingyu wasnât a secret, but you didnât openly tell other people about it. Whenever someone noticed that you seemed close, you always told them that you were friends. And in a way, you were.
Mina tilted her head slightly, confused. âWas I wrong? I thought you two got along.â
âOh, yeah. Weâre friends.â
Mina said, âI havenât seen him around campus in a while. Is he okay?â
âI think heâs fine, yes. Whyâd you ask?â you replied.
âWell, something happened a few days ago,â Mina said, hesitating. She turned to Jill, your other friend whoâs driving. âJill, tell her what happened.â
You met Jillâs gaze in the mirror briefly. âLea and I saw him getting slapped outside the campus.â
Your heart ached. âWhen was it? Who hit him?â
âIt was probably his mom,â said Lea, glancing at you from the shotgun seat. âShe looked like it and Mingyu got in her car after. Luckily there werenât many people there and I think only a few noticed. But he seemed really depressed at the time.â
You leaned on the backrest of your seat, crossing your arms over your chest as you wondered about Mingyu. Is he having problems at home? Is that why he was upset?
âYouâre worried. You must be close,â Mina said, probing for answers about your relationship with him.
âHeâs my friend. Of course Iâm worried.â
When you reached the party, you were stuck with your friends for a while, playing a round of drinking games with other people. When that was over, and youâd managed to slip away unnoticed, you searched the crowd for Mingyu.
You leaned against the wall, holding a half-full cup of punch, scanning the crowd. You spotted him nearby, talking to a group of friends, his usual easy smile lighting up his face. You smiled too, watching him. It was almost effortless with him, how he could make everyone around him feel comfortable. Youâd noticed it beforeâMingyu was always the life of the party wherever he went.Â
But then you remembered what your friends told you, and the smile faltered from your lips. How much pain was he hiding behind those sweet smiles? Were they fake the whole time? Or were they real and was he only able to smile this much outside his home? What was going on with his life? With him? At this point, the most fitting question would be, âWho is he really?â
You were about to join him when you noticed someone approach himâsome girl you hadnât seen before. She was tall, pretty, with perfectly styled hair and an outfit that screamed confidence. She touched Mingyuâs arm lightly, leaning in to say something that made him chuckle. It was a small, polite laugh, the kind he gave when he didnât want to be rude, but that didnât stop the knot from forming in your chest.
You tried to ignore it, reminding yourself that it didnât mean anything. But when she took another step closer to him, her fingers lingering on his arm, you felt a strange tightness, a familiar sensation that crawled under your skin.Â
Jealousy.
Jealousy was a strange thing. You had never felt it beforeânot like this. The idea of losing him, even though you werenât âtogether,â made your stomach flip.Â
Mingyuâs eyes flicked over the room, and then they landed on you. For a split second, you thought about looking away, playing it cool. But the look in his eyes, the way his face softened when he saw you, stopped you in your tracks. He smiledâhis real smile, the one that made his eyes crinkle at the cornersâand the knot in your chest loosened a little.
Without a word, Mingyu took a small step back from the girl and made his way over to you. You tried to act casual, leaning against the wall as if your heart wasnât racing.
âHey,â he said, his voice warm and familiar. He stood close, the heat of his presence drawing you in.
âHey,â you replied, trying not to let the relief show on your face.
âEnjoying the party?â he asked, leaning in slightly so you could hear him over the music.
âYeah, itâs fine,â you said, shrugging. âYou seem popular tonight.â You couldnât help the slight edge in your voice, even though you tried to play it off as a joke.
Mingyu raised an eyebrow, clearly catching the subtle tone. âYou mean her?â he asked, tilting his head toward the girl who was now talking to someone else. âSheâs just being friendly.â
âFriendly, huh?â you replied, taking another sip of your drink. âLooked like she was being a little too friendly.â
Mingyu laughed softly, stepping even closer. His hand brushed against your arm, sending a familiar warmth through you. âDid you know I like my women territorial?â he teased, but his tone was gentle.
You scoffed, trying to hide the sudden rush of embarrassment. âGo find yourself someone territorial then,â you said, bumping your shoulder against his when you pushed past him.
Mingyu chuckled, turning to grab your wrist and stop you from leaving. âI donât need to find one.â He tugged you towards him, hugging you from behind and planting a sloppy kiss on your cheek. âI have my territorial girl right here.â
You rolled your eyes, but your heart fluttered. âGet off me. Why are you doing this in public?â you chided, shaking him off but not putting in any strength to actually get away from him.
âOh, is this not allowed?â he asked and you were about to fire a retort when you caught your friendsâ gazes from across the room. You felt your cheeks flare, looking away to avoid Minaâs teasing grin.
âGet off.â You pushed him away and straightened your clothes.
Mingyu chuckled heartily, tugging your shoulder so youâd face him. He was smiling softly, a softness that made you feel seen in a way that was more intimate than anything else. âDonât worry. Iâm yours exclusively.â
You stared at him, trying to read what was on his mind. You wish you could, but it was impossible.Â
The words hit you harder than you expected. Exclusively? He must be talking about the fact that you were exclusive fuck buddies. You wished he wasnât, but youâd rather not have false expectations.Â
âI know,â you said, your voice quieter now.
For a moment, neither of you spoke. The tension hung in the air between you, thick and unspoken. You didnât need to say anything more. You both understood.
âMingyu!â shouted someone from across the room. You both turned your heads in the direction of the voice and saw a guy waving for Mingyu. âCome on, man! Itâs your turn!â
Mingyu chuckled, waving back. âYou guys continue without me!â he shouted back. Then he took your hand, fingers lacing through yours, and gave it a small squeeze. âWanna ditch?â
You shrugged.
âCome on. I know you want to leave and go for burgers right now.â
You felt a smile tug at your lips. âDid you just read my mind?âÂ
âNo, but I have a manual in my head with your name on it, and that information is saved here,â he replied, pressing an index finger to his temple.
âYouâre so obsessed with me. Arenât you embarrassed?â you quipped, pushing off the wall and walking toward the door, feeling the familiar warmth of Mingyuâs presence right behind you.
The night ended in your apartment, as expected. In the heat of the moment, you set aside everythingâyour confusion, the questions, everything. There was only you and him in this moment of passion. Once more, you let yourself spiral into the momentary distraction of pleasure. And when the high slowly dissipated, you found yourself in the warm bathtub, with your back leaning on Mingyuâs chest.
âAre you staying?â you asked softly. âOver, I mean. Or do you need to go home?â
âIâd love to stay,â he replied. âIs that okay?â
âOf course it is.â You closed your eyes, content with his answer. âI donât even want you to leave,â you blurted before you could stop yourself.
Mingyu chuckled lightly. âI donât want to leave either. I wish I could just stay here. Forever, if thatâs even possible,â he said and it left a bitter taste in your mouth.
âOh yeah? Then why do youââ You bit your lip, feeling vulnerable all of a sudden. You werenât used to confronting things like this. You looked up to meet his gaze, looking into his eyes. âWhere will you disappear next time, Kim Mingyu?â
For a second, his expression shiftedâjust a flicker of something in his eyes, something you couldnât quite read. âIâm not going anywhere,â he said, his voice filled with a quiet certainty. âNot unless you want me to.â
Your chest tightened. His words were simple, but the weight behind them hit you harder than you expected. How long had you been waiting to hear something like that? To know that, at least for now, he was yours, and he wasnât going to slip away without warning like he had before.
You swallowed hard, trying to find your voice again. âNo. I donât want you to go.â
Mingyu smiled, that same easygoing grin that always seemed to make everything feel okay, even when it wasnât. âThen stop worrying,â he said, his thumb still tracing those soft circles on your skin.
He didnât make a promise, and maybe you shouldâve asked for one. Because even though he stayed for a while, it didnât stop him from fading away all over again.
You were at Minaâs apartment, sitting on the edge of her bed while she packed her things. Beside you, Jill was cradling a bag of chips, pointedly refusing to share.
âI still donât get why youâre moving out,â Jill grumbled, slapping your hand when you reached for a chip. She shot you a glare and continued, âCanât you just tell your parents you donât want to live with them?â
âAsian parents,â Mina sighed, shaking her head. âYou wouldnât understand.â
âExactly! I donât understand why theyâd move to another state just to follow you here,â Jill said, incredulous. âThatâs some next-level parenting!â
âThey moved because they canât stand being away from their daughter,â you chimed in, swiping a protein bar from Jillâs stash. âAlso because they can.â
âYeah, and thatâs why itâs so confusing,â Jill scoffed, gesturing toward Mina. âMy parents love me too, but they wouldnât move out of their hometown just to keep me close. Are all Asian parents like hers? Do they really want their grown-ass kids living at home?â
You shrugged. âIâm not sure, but it happens more often than youâd think.â Your mind briefly wandered to Mingyu, remembering how heâd moved back in with his parents.
Before you could say more, music blared from outside the bedroom, cutting through the conversation. You looked up to see Lea entering the room, a towel draped over her shoulders like a makeshift cape. She carried a speaker in one hand, which she promptly set down on the nightstand.
âYou say!â she belted, voice dramatic as she launched into the opening lines of a Hamilton song. âThe price of my love is not a price that youâre willing to pay!â
The three of you groaned in unison.
Mina rolled her eyes, standing up to shove Lea out of the room. âGet out, nerd,â she said, feigning annoyance but unable to hide her smile.
âSheâs sad. Let her grieve,â you teased, glancing toward the door where Lea continued knocking persistently.
Mina sighed and switched off the speaker, silencing the music. âSheâs just overdramatic, thatâs what she is. Itâs not like we wonât see each other anymore.â
âMaybe you wonât,â you said, shrugging. âWho knows? Some people like to disappear and not say a word. Only to show up out of nowhere and act like nothing happened.â
Mina crossed her arms over her chest, tilting her head slightly as she observed you with a hint of suspicion in her eyes. âWhere is this coming from?â
You shrugged, glancing at Jill who was giving you the same look. The chuckle you let out was awkward and defensive. âNowhere. Iâm just yapping for no reason. You know me.â
âYeah, we know you,â Jill said, grinning playfully. âWe know youâre hiding someone up at your apartment.â
âWHAT?â you exclaimed, backing away and laughing incredulously. âNo. When did I ever! Youâre crazy," you denied, snorting.
âUh-huh? Then why havenât we been invited there in like, six months already?â Jill interrogated.
You looked away. âI didnât know you guys were keeping count.â
âWho is it?â Mina pressed, a teasing smile on her lips.
âNo one,â you said briskly. âWe havenât talked in like, a week.â
âOh, is it over before we even found out who it was?â Mina asked, appalled.
Before you could respond, Leaâs voice rang out from outside the door, full of flair. âYouâll be back! Soon youâll see! Youâll remember you belong to me!â
Yeah. Mingyu will be back. Like always.
You went on with your life, like always. Youâd learned to adapt. Classes came and went, each lecture merging into the next. On the first few times that Mingyu would disappear, you used to be distracted. Now you just went on as usual. Each day passed in a blur of classes, late-night study sessions, and the occasional laugh with friends.
âYou still havenât told us who this mystery man is. Heâs not a professor, is he?â Lea questioned while you were at a cafe one evening.
âNo! What the heck?â you said briskly, shaking your head at the ridiculous accusation.
âIs it Mingyu? You guys seem... close,â Mina teased.
âNo,â you lied, blatantly.
Mina nudged your elbow. âThen why wonât you tell us?â
You hesitated, glancing down at your plate. âItâs just⊠itâs complicated.â
âComplicated how?â Jill asked, leaning in, her eyes glimmering with curiosity. âHe ghosted you, right? Youâre better off without him.â
âYeah, I guess,â you said, but the words felt heavy in your mouth. You could not bring yourself to tell them that heâd done this before, and that heâd be back. When he does, youâd take him back like you always did.
You didnât want to tell them how much you craved his presence, even if it was a source of confusion and pain. The idea of him laughing and teasing you again, the thought of being held by him, being one with him in body and mindâit all felt like a drug you couldnât resist. How could you tell your friends that? Theyâd kill you if they canât kill Mingyu first.
Mina reached out, squeezing your hand. âYou deserve someone whoâs all in. Not someone who just pops in and out of your life.â
âI know,â you nodded, appreciating their concern. You know they were right, but you still wanted to wait for Mingyu.
Just as the ache began to dull into a familiar rhythm, you were in the library, buried under a pile of textbooks. The quiet hum of studying students surrounded you, but you were in your own world, focusing on an assignment.
âHey, stranger,â said a familiar voice that made your heart race. You looked up to find Mingyu and your stomach flipped as you caught his eye. He looked goofyâexactly as you remembered. âMissed me?â
âMore like I forgot what you looked like,â you retorted, trying to play it cool.
He laughed, that warm, infectious laugh that always made your heart flutter. âOh, come on! You know you missed my face.â
âNot as much as I missed your annoying habit of interrupting my study sessions,â you shot back, though you couldnât suppress the smile creeping onto your face.
Mingyu grinned, leaning closer. âI canât help it. Whatâs more interesting than me?â
Your heart swelled at his playful confidence, and for the first time in weeks, the tension in your chest eased a little. âA lot of things, actually,â you teased, trying to keep the atmosphere light.
âLies,â he said pouting as he slid on the seat next to you, scooting so close that your shoulders were squeezed together. âSo, any plans tonight?â
You rolled your eyes, but inside, you felt the warmth of his presence filling the void he had left.
Mingyu started to integrate himself back into your life seamlessly. He would swing by your apartment with snacks, distract you with silly anecdotes, and make you laugh until your sides hurt. You need not mention that most of these nights were spent with your limbs tangled underneath your sheetsâhalf his weight pressing on you, your fingernails digging into his skin, as your moans blended with his soft grunts, creating a beautiful melody that made you lose your mind.
One afternoon, you found yourselves in the park, lounging on the grass under the fading sunlight. âSo, whatâs new with you?â he asked, propping himself up on his elbow to look at you.
âNot much. Just the usualâclasses, studying, hanging out with the same friends,â you replied, your gaze drifting to the clouds above.
He raised an eyebrow. âJust that? No wild adventures? No spontaneous trips?â
You laughed softly. âYouâre my wild adventures, Mingyu.â
Mingyuâs expression shifted, his playful demeanor softening as he studied your face. âIâm sorry for disappearing like that. I just needed some time to take care of stuff,â he explained, playing with the ends of your hair. âI wish I didnât have to.â
His words hung in the air, and your breath caught in your throat. The way he looked at you made you feel special againâloved even. You could feel the warmth spreading in your chest, a blend of relief and yearning.
âIâm glad youâre back,â you said softly, your heart swelling with hope.
âI know,â he replied with a teasing smirk, but his eyes were sincere. You stayed like that for a while, just staring at each other, not quite understanding what your eyes were trying to tell each other, but content nonetheless.
âI should go,â you said, sitting up. Mingyu followed, holding your hand and resting his chin on your shoulder.
âGo where? I was hoping we could hang out again tonight. How does steak sound? Iâve gotten good at it recently.â
âI am tempted, but maybe next time. I made plans with the girls.â
âCan I sleep over tonight, then? I donât wanna go home,â he pleaded.
You winced. âMinaâs sleeping over tonight.â
âDidnât she sleep over the other day, though?â
âYeah, well. She doesnât have an apartment anymore. Itâs a long story.â
Mingyu gasped playfully. âIs she moving in with you?â
âNo, not really. But sheâd be sleeping over sometimes.â
âNot your friend cockblocking me.â
You threw your head back laughing. âDumbass. Go away.â
As the days turned into weeks, you settled back into the regular rhythm with him. Mingyu seemed lighter, more carefree. Every moment felt precious, as if you were both making up for lost time.
But behind the lighthearted moments, you could feel itâthe underlying tension that often accompanied Mingyuâs presence. You pushed it aside, choosing to savor the time you had together instead of dwelling on what might come next.
Then, one chilly evening, it happened.
Youâd heard somewhere before that one should expect disappointment. That way, the said disappointment would hurt less once it comes. They were only half-right.
âWhatâs your opinion so far?â you asked, watching Seungcheol lean back in his chair.
He shook his head slowly. âIâm not really in a position to comment.â
âItâs fine. I donât mind. Iâm the one asking.â
He hesitated, choosing his words carefully. âI think youâve got yourself stuck in an impasse. And honestly, itâs a frustrating one, because you knew what was going on, you didnât like it, and you knew exactly what you could do to get out of it.â
âAnd your point is?â
âMy point is, you could have spared yourself the trouble. You could have chosen differentlyâconfront him, walk away, tell him to leave if heâs just gonna keep doing what heâs doing,â he replied.
You shot him a teasing smile. âNotice how youâre listing all the things I could have done, instead of what Mingyu should have done?â
There was a flicker of realization on Seungcheolâs face, clearly caught off guard. âOhâŠâ
You chuckled softly. âExactly. Thatâs because people generally donât trust men to be capable of picking up after their messes.â
âThatâs actually a good insight,â he admitted with a nod. âSo what happened after that?â
âYou know what happened. Itâs where I started when I told you this story. He called me after a week of radio silence, complaining about his annoying professor. Then I invited him over, we had sex, and we fell back into the same cycle of pretending like nothing was wrong. With him. Or with us. Then he vanished again.â
Seungcheol nodded quietly as he refilled your empty glass. For some reason, the gesture felt like a pat on your shoulder. In your mind, you thought that maybe this was his way of comforting you. That isâif he cared at all.
âThat was the first time we fought,â you added, smiling bitterly at the memory.
At that point, youâd recognize the cues. Youâd had Mingyu memorized and knew exactly from the way he was beginning to get detached that he was about to disappear againâlate replies, making excuses and avoiding you at the campus. The thought of being abandoned by him once more struck a chord in you. Before you know it, you were confronting him, demanding to be heard.
âYouâre doing it again,â you said, just as he was reaching for the doorknob.
Mingyu stopped, looked back at you, and blinked, confused. âDoing what?â
You gestured at him at the door. âThis. The avoiding, the excuses.â Your voice was sharper than you intended, but you couldnât hold it back anymore.
He shifted, clearly uncomfortable. âIâve been busyââ
âStop!â you interrupted. âJust stop it! Donât lie to me, Mingyu. You think I donât notice? Youâre pulling away, and you always do this right before you disappear!â
Mingyu sighed, backing away from the door and facing you fully. He uttered your nameâsoftly, pleadingly. âCome on, baby. Letâs not do this right now.â
âWhat? Am I supposed to just take it in stride while you disappear to God knows where without so much as a word? No. Weâre doing this right now,â you demanded. The corner of your eyes began to sting with the tears threatening to fall.Â
He reached to touch you but you recoiled, and he could only clench his fist then withdraw his hand. âIâm sorry.â
âIs that all you have to say?â you asked, appalled.
âI donât wanna make excuses.â
âWho said you have to?â you asked quietly, your voice unsteady. âYou just have to be honest.â
âIt's easier said than done!â he snapped, exhaling sharply as he held your gaze. You could see the hesitation on his face before he looked away and ran his fingers through his hair in frustration.
âWhat do you want from me, Mingyu?â you croaked out, trying to steady yourself on your feet. âWhy do you keep doing this to me?â
âI donât mean to hurt you,â he said defensively, reaching out again but you backed away.
âBut you do! And I feel like absolute shit because⊠becauseâŠâ The words got stuck in your throat. How were you supposed to explain the constant tug-of-war inside you? The feeling of wanting more but being too scared to ask for it? âAm I just someone you use when itâs convenient? Someone you need when youâre lonely, then toss aside the moment youâre done?â
âNo! Donât say that!â Mingyu growled, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you into a tight hug. You tensed at first, but then you felt itâthe way his arms wrapped around you, not in anger, but in desperation. âI care about you. I care a lot about you.â
The force of his hold spoke louder than anything heâd said. His grip tightened slightly, but it wasnât suffocating. It felt⊠conflicted, as if he was holding onto you for dear life but didnât know how to tell you why. You felt his breath, unsteady against your hair, like he was battling with words that refused to come out.
But it wasnât enough.
You stiffened in his arms, resisting the urge to melt into his warmth like you always had before. âMingyu,â you whispered, your voice barely holding together, âif you care about me, why wonât you just be honest?â
He didnât let go, but his grip faltered, his fingers loosening just enough for you to feel the uncertainty. His silence stretched on, filling the air between you, but he still couldnât say it. He couldnât give you what you neededâa promise, a reason, something to hold onto.
âGo,â you said, your voice raw with pain.
Mingyu faltered, his arms falling to his sides, his eyes pleading as if youâd just said something he wasnât ready to hear. âPleaseâŠâ he whispered, reaching out again.
You turned your back on him. âJust go, Mingyu,â you repeated, voice cracking as you struggled to keep your tears at bay. âGo. I canât do this right now.â
With your back turned you didnât see him linger by the door, hand hesitating on the knob. You didnât catch the sadness clouding his eyes, the way his fingers twitched as if to reach for you one last time. And you missed the way he looked at youâtorn, brokenâbefore he slipped out of your life once again.
And with Mingyu gone, he didnât see your legs give out beneath you. You collapsed onto the living room floor, where the two of you had spent countless hours together, making memories that now felt like they belonged to a different time. Your sobs filled the silence of the empty room, the weight of everything crashing down on you, and for the first time, you let yourself break at the place where you had once felt whole.
You went on with your life, almost mechanical now with its repetition. Classes, study sessions, dinners with friendsâit was all about keeping your head above water, distracting yourself from the void Mingyu had left behind. You had been through this before, so in some twisted way, you were used to it. He always came and went, and every time he left, it hurt less. The only difference was that this time, you werenât sure if heâd ever come back.Â
You missed him in the morning. Your eyes searched for him around campus all day. And your soul ached to be held by him at night. Your friends noticed your distracted state, and they had asked once but didnât press on when youâd hinted that you didnât want to talk about it. They figured that, eventually, you'd open up. In the meantime, you stuck to your routine, pretending everything was fine. And in a way, it was. Your tears eventually dried up and the restless nights decreased. The pain had dulled, and you were starting to accept that maybe this was for the best.Â
But it seemed like fate wasnât done toying with you yet. One evening, you were lounging on the couch with Jill, Lea, and Mina. You were halfway through a movie youâd been meaning to watch, a quiet evening like so many before when your friends had kept you company so you werenât left to your sad thoughts.
Then your phone rang. At first, you thought it might have been a mistake, that you were hallucinating when you saw Mingyuâs nickname on your screen.
âR18 plus plus plus? Whoâs that?â Mina teased, noticing the name flash on your phone. âA fling?â
âItâs no one,â you muttered, still staring at the screen.
âArenât you gonna pick it up? Itâs kinda loud, love,â said Jill, motioning to the TV.
You stood up, heading to the kitchen to answer the call. You knew you shouldnât, but a part of youâthe part that still hoped, still craved his presenceâwanted to hear what he had to say.
âHello?â you answered, your voice shaky.
âHi.â The voice on the other end was unfamiliar, and they said your name uncertainly.
âYes. Who is this?â
âThis is Dan. Your number was on the phone so I called. Can you come to the bar downtown? Itâs right across from 00 University. The owner of this phone had a little too much to drink. Can you come pick him up?â
For a moment, you couldnât speak. Mingyu? You hadnât heard from him in weeks. âI⊠yeah, Iâll be there,â you managed, glancing at your friends. âGive me twenty minutes.â
You ended the call and stood, grabbing your coat. Mina raised an eyebrow, but you avoided her gaze. âI have to go,â you said quickly.
âNow, now. Youâre not ditching us for Mr. R18 plus plus plus, are you?â Mina teased again, but you werenât in the mood for jokes.
âR18? Is that a booty call?â Lea chuckled.
âItâs not what you think, guys.â You sighed, offering a quick, apologetic smile. âIâll be right back.â
Without waiting for their protests, you rushed out the door, your heart pounding. You were confused and surprised. Mingyu drunk and alone in a bar? This was so out of character for him. Heâd never done anything like this before.
When you arrived at the bar, you spotted him immediately. Slumped against the counter, his head hanging low, he was a mess. His hair was tousled, his eyes half-closed, and his cheeks flushed with alcohol. The confident Mingyu you knew was gone, replaced by this hollow, drunken version. You approached him, appalled at the sight of him looking wasted.
âYou must be her,â asked the bartender.Â
You nodded, glancing at Mingyu. âHow long has he been like this?â
Dan sighed. âA few hours. He was drinking alone, staring at your number. Said he wanted to call, but wasnât sure if he should.â
Your heart twisted at that. He wanted to call? He was thinking about you? But then, why hadnât he?
âHow much did he drink?â you asked, eyeing about a dozen bottles of beer in front of him and hoping he didnât drink all of those by himself.
Mingyu stirred at the sound of your voice, his head lifting slightly. He tried to focus on you, but his eyes were hazy. He mumbled your name. â...is that you?â
Dan gave you a sympathetic smile. âHeâs all yours.â
âYeah, itâs me.â You sighed, wrapping an arm around him, trying to lift him to his feet. He leaned heavily against you, his body sagging.
He whispered your name again, slurring the syllables, and for a moment, something inside you softened. But no. You couldnât do this again. Not like this.
With a struggle, you managed to get him outside. âKim Mingyu, youâre gonna have to pull it together, or Iâll leave you here.â
Mingyu groaned, trying to straighten up. âI missed you,â he mumbled, his words barely coherent. He stumbled, reaching for your face but missing, his hand landing on your shoulder instead. He rested his head on your shoulder, taking a deep breath. âMissed you so much.â
You winced at the words, unsure of what to feel. Did he mean it? Or was it the alcohol talking? âCome on. Letâs get you home.â
In the cab ride back to your apartment, he kept trying to pull you closer, his head resting on your shoulder, his breath warm against your neck. Every time he said your name, it felt like a knife twisting in your chest. How could he hurt you so easily, and yet make you feel so needed at the same time?
When you got him inside, your friends were still there, their faces full of questions. Jill stood first. âWhatâs going on?â she asked, though the answer was obvious.
âHeâs drunk,â you said simply, guiding him to the couch. âIâm sorry. Can we call it a night? I promise Iâll explain later.â
They exchanged looks but didnât argue. Lea gave you a quick hug before leaving, followed by Jill and Mina. âText us if you need anything,â Mina said quietly, her eyes lingering on you as if she wanted to say more.
Once they were gone, you turned to Mingyu, who had collapsed onto the couch. He was mumbling your name again, his eyes barely open.
You knelt beside him, brushing the hair from his forehead. âYouâre a mess, Mingyu.â
He smiled lazily, his hand reaching for your face. Then he chuckled. âDan, you bastard, what did you put in my drink? Why am I seeing things?" he drawled out the words.
âYouâre not seeing things,â you chided, albeit softly, as you pushed his hand away.
You sighed, pulling away from his touch. You started to help him out of his jacket, his body warm and damp with sweat. As you worked, he kept trying to pull you closer, his hands wandering over your body, his lips trying to find yours but clumsily landing on different spots in your face.
You swatted his hand each time, and pushed him away as much as you could. You stripped him down until he was left with only his boxers. Afterward, you gave him a blanket and were about to leave when he grabbed you by the waist.
âStay,â he whispered.
Just like that, the tears you thought had dried up started welling your eyes again. You stood there, letting yourself get enveloped by his warmth again. If only he could stay like thisâopen, vulnerable, needing you. But deep down, you knew this wasnât real. Tomorrow, heâd be gone again.
The morning light filtered through the curtains, soft and gentle. You stirred awake, feeling a familiar ache settle deep in your chest. The first thing you did was rise out of bed and go to the living room. Mingyu was still asleep on the couch, his arm draped lazily over the edge, his chest rising and falling in slow, steady breaths.
Quietly, you walked over to the couch. You sat down on the floor next to him, folding your legs beneath you. Your eyes traced the familiar lines of his face, softened in sleep. He looked peacefulâvulnerable even, like he wasnât the same man whoâd disappeared for weeks without a word.
How many times have you told yourself not to expect more? That he wasnât yours to keep. He was only yours in stolen momentsâwhen the world outside didnât exist, and it was just the two of you, tangled in each other. But those moments were fleeting, like a breath you couldnât quite hold on to.
You sighed, brushing a loose strand of hair away from his forehead. âDamn you, Kim Mingyu.â
What if this time was different? What if, just once, he stayed? Hope was a dangerous thing. Every time you thought you were free from him, he pulled you back in, sometimes with nothing more than a look, a word, or the weight of his presence.Â
Mingyu stirred, his eyelids fluttering open slowly. His gaze found yours almost immediately, bleary but aware. For a long moment, neither of you said anything. You just looked at each other, the silence heavy with unsaid words, with everything you were too afraid to admit. The hurt. The longing. The quiet hope that maybe, just maybe, he wanted you as much as you wanted him.
His eyes lingered on your face, as if he was trying to read your thoughts. You felt exposed under his gaze, like he could see through the walls youâd built to protect yourself from him.
Then, without a word, he reached for you. His hand, warm and tentative, cupped the side of your face, and you leaned into his touch instinctively, closing your eyes for a second as your breath caught in your throat. When you opened them again, his gaze was intense, searching.
His lips brushed against yours, soft and familiar. Then, his grip on you tightened, and you found yourself sinking into him. For a few moments, it felt like nothing else mattered. The pain, the confusion, the nights spent wondering where he wasânone of it existed here.
You knew this wasnât safe. Letting him back in, letting him hold you, kiss youâit was a cycle you couldnât break. But you didnât pull away.
He guided you to the bed, his hands sliding over your skin with tenderness, as though he was afraid youâd slip away from him. You werenât sure who needed who more in this momentâwhether he was seeking comfort from you, or whether you were the one hoping he would stay, if only for a little longer. Maybe it didnât matter.
Your clothes fell away slowly, piece by piece, until there was nothing left between you. His touch was familiar, yet it felt different somehowâsofter, more cautious. You shivered as his lips trailed across your collarbone, your breath hitching in your throat.
He then lay on his back, guiding you to straddle him. Youâd miss everything about him these past few weeks, but you didnât know how much you longed for him until he was deep inside you. It hurt a little, but you didnât falter, you just stayed there for a second, adjusting to the stretch that you hadnât felt in a while.
Mingyu sat up, his hands supporting your back as he pressed his forehead against yours. âYou okay?â he asked, his lips ghosting over your skin. You nodded, moving ever so slightly. Mingyu kissed the side of your head. âGood girl.â
You didnât reply, too caught in the moment to think beyond the feeling of his hands on you, and his manhood inside you. Soon you were breathless on top of him, grinding rhythmically, back arching with each motion. His hands were as strong as they had always been, gripping your hips as he guided your movements. You did not contain your moans, knowing Mingyu preferred hearing themâthat he loved hearing you.
Just as you were nearing release, Mingyu shifted your positions, pinning you underneath him. He stared into your eyes for a moment, caressing your cheek before he kissed your open mouth. And once again, he thrust into you. The room was filled with soft soundsâquiet breaths, gentle whispers of each other's names. Everything felt slow, like time had stretched out just for you two, giving you space to exist in this fleeting moment.
There was no rush, no frantic urgency. Just two people, tangled together in a slow, deliberate, and passionate sex driven not solely by lust but by something more powerful.Â
Love. You felt it in his every push, every kiss, and every touch. It was different this time. His hands lingered longer, his lips sought yours more often, and the way he whispered your nameâit wasnât just desire. It was more, and you felt it deep within your chest, like an ache that had finally found its release
And when it was over, you lay together, his arms wrapped around you, his heartbeat steady beneath your ear. You traced lazy circles on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing. His body was warm, his presence grounding you in a way that made you want to believe he could be yours.
âI love you,â he said suddenly, his voice quiet but clear.
You froze, your hand still on his chest as the words hung in the air. You werenât sure if youâd heard him right. Slowly, you lifted your head to look at him, your heart hammering in your chest. âWhat did you say?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
Mingyuâs eyes softened, a faint smile playing on his lips as he repeated the words that made your breath catch. âI said, I love you.â
Your heart swelled, but with it came a surge of doubt. Could you believe him? Could you trust these words from the same man who had vanished from your life without a second thought so many times before? It felt like standing on the edge of a cliff, one step away from free-falling into something that could either break you or save you.
You wanted to say it back. The words were on the tip of your tongue, but they felt too heavy, weighed down by all the times youâd convinced yourself that this moment would never come. Instead, you settled for leaning up and kissing him, slow and soft, your lips lingering against his. Maybe this kiss could say what you couldnât. Maybe it could be enough to bridge the gap between hope and reality.
When you pulled back, you looked at him again, the uncertainty gnawing at your chest. âDo you really mean that?â you asked, your voice smaller than you intended. âOr are you just saying it because⊠because of what just happened?â
Mingyuâs eyes darkened with something unreadable. He reached up, cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. âI mean it,â he said, his voice rougher now, like the words were harder for him to say than he let on. âI wouldnât say it if I didnât.â
His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, but there was something else there tooâsomething softer, more vulnerable. He didnât say anything. He didnât need to. You both knew what this was, even if neither of you was ready to admit it.
You pressed another kiss on his lips, your hand cupping his face. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe.
Or maybe not.
Seungcheolâs eyes stayed locked on you, you could see curiosity and concern written on his face. You just stared right back, keeping your lips tight.
âThatâs it?â he asked, his voice soft, almost disbelieving.
You nodded. âThatâs it.â
He blinked slowly, clearly not satisfied with your answer. Heâd been so engrossed in the story that neither of you had noticed how late it had gotten.Â
âIt canât be,â he murmured. âWhat happened after?â
You let out a breath, shrugging as if it didnât matter. âWe talked. Well, fought, mostly. I asked him what he wantedâif heâd finally commit. In the end, he didnât pick me. After everything, I thought he would. You know confessing his love and all that. But⊠meh.â You rolled your eyes. âThatâs how it went.â
Seungcheol leaned in, his eyes narrowing. âSo you walked away?â
âI donât wanna go into details anymore, but yes I walked away with my dignity intact. I mean,â you paused to laugh. âI couldnât keep letting him do that to me, could I? I had to stop it. I was better than that, though it took a while for me to finally grasp that fact and walk away.â
Seungcheol nodded slowly, but there was something unsatisfied in his expression. âWell, good for you. You deserve that. You deserve better.â
âI know,â you chuckled, but the laugh felt forced. âItâs funny, looking back. I acted so stupid for him. But Iâm just glad itâs over now, you know? That chapter is closed.â
He tilted his head, his brow furrowed in thought. âThatâs good. Although I dare say, your storytelling is a bit, I donât know⊠anticlimactic?â
âIs it?â you asked like it wasnât something you already felt too. You forced a shrug. âMaybe. But thatâs how it went. Things kept circling back to the same pattern and this part is basically the same. Thereâs only so many times you can replay the same argument, you know? I just skipped it,â you added with a forced smirk, hoping it would distract him from prying any further.
Seungcheol observed you for a minute, and you wondered if he could see right through you. Seems impossible. He didnât really know you until today, and you were a pretty decent liar.
âRight,â he said, his tone softening, though the doubt hadnât entirely left his face. âWhatâs next then?â
You blinked. âHuh?â
âI mean, whoâs next?â he clarified, leaning back in his chair. âKim Mingyu is not the only guy youâd ever dated, is he?â
You let out a short laugh, but it was strained. âNo, there were others. But itâs late, Mr. Choi. The lady needs her sleep.â
He shot to his feet, his face immediately contrite. âAh, of course! I didnât mean to keep you up.â
âIâm sure you didnât. If you want to hear more, you can ask the front desk for me. Tomorrowâs my day-off so I have time. We can also discuss the fee you promised,â you said, smiling and then narrowing your eyes at him. âThat is, if you havenât forgotten about it.â
âI remember.â He smiled. âGood night then.â
âThanks for listening,â you said with a small wave as you turned to head toward your room.
As you made your way back to your quarters, thoughts of Mingyu swirled in your mind. Youâd lied to Seungcheol. The ending between you and Mingyu wasnât anticlimactic at all. It had been messy, filled with bottled-up anger and days wallowing in misery. But youâd never admit that to Seungcheol. Sharing a failed romance with a stranger was one thing; baring the ugly truth of just how miserable and pathetic you felt back then? That was something else entirely.
At the time, you thought heâd finally let you in. He did, for a moment. Mingyu had opened up about the weight of familial expectations, how it crushed him to follow a path that wasnât his. He talked about the people and dreams he had to leave behind. And he confessed that the reason he couldnât choose you, after all this time, was that same fearâthat one day, heâd have to turn his back on you too.
âYou donât have to,â you said, placing a hand on his arm. âIâll be here. Wouldnât it be easier if you had someone to rely on?â
Heâd smiled at you then, a smile filled with gratitude and maybe something like love. âThank you. I appreciate that.â
And so, you stayed. And Mingyu? He stayed the sameâthoughtful, goofy, always consistent. Sometimes, heâd come to you in low spirits, and youâd let him lean on you in silence, even though he never fully shared his feelings. You fell deeper in love with him, slowly realizing that everything felt emptier, harder without him. You barely noticed time fly by, but you did notice that Mingyu no longer disappeared. He no longer detached himself from you. He was there all the time, even on days when he didnât feel like himself.
Freshman year passed and you went up with him at his familyâs estate to spend the break. He lived in a big house but his parents werenât home the whole time you were there. It was nice to get a glimpse of his life, of the place he grew up in and the person he was before you met him. You spent time hanging out, making love, and being each otherâs support system.
But despite how wonderful it was, despite the burning passion, the cloud of uncertainty loomed over you while you were there. The happiness you felt was so overwhelming, it scared you. It felt too good to be true, like the calm before an inevitable storm.
This storm would come earlier than either of you expected. And it came in the mail.
âWhat is it?â you asked, wrapping your arms around Mingyuâs seated figure. You tried to peek into the letter, but he put it away.
âNothing important,â he replied, holding your arm and rubbing it as he looked up at you. He smiled at you and then pressed a soft kiss on your lips. âWhere were you?â
You pointed at your head, wrapped in a towel. âIn the bath,â you said, straightening up and walking toward the bed to undo your hair.
âYou were gone for an hour.â
âYeah. I was actually waiting for you to join me,â you said, not hiding your disappointment.
He groaned. âOh, man. You shouldâve told me.â
You grimaced. âNo, you shouldâve looked for me when you noticed I was gone.â
He tucked the envelope in the drawer before jumping in the bed with you. He pinned you down, making you squeal. Then he started peppering you with kisses all over your face. When he caught a whiff of your neck, his expression immediately shifted from goofy to naughty.
âIâd love to do it in the tub, but the bed isnât such a bad idea too,â he lilted, undoing the ribbon of your robe.
âThe bed is the best place to do it, dumbass.â
Mingyu hummed in satisfaction. âI love it when you talk dirty to me,â he said, making you laugh.Â
That afternoon was spent being one with each other too, like the previous ones. When you fell asleep, Mingyu was beside you, his head leaning on your chest while you play with his hair. But when you woke up, it was already dark and the spot where Mingyu laid was cold.
You pushed yourself upright, wrapping your robe around you as you padded across the room, calling out his name. âMingyu?â The sound echoed back in the silence. You checked the bathroom, the living roomâevery corner of the house, each step feeling heavier than the last. No sign of him.
You tried his phone next, only to find it sitting on the nightstand. Thirty minutes passed, then an hour. Your calls for him became more frantic, though still unanswered. It was only when the housekeeper returned that she offered some explanation.
âHe went out earlier, maâam,â she said, smiling kindly. âHe didnât say where, but Iâm sure heâll be back soon. Mr. Mingyu would never leave you alone.â
Right, he wouldnât. Yet that wasnât reassuring at all. This housekeeper might have watched Mingyu grow up, even took care of him during those years, but she had no idea what Mingyu had put you through. Still, you wanted to believe in him.
The hours passed, and the next morning came. He hadnât come home yet. You waited until the evening, and the following evening on the next day, and the next, and the next. Still no Mingyu. The house felt hollow without him, as though the walls themselves knew something was wrong.
It was on the fourth day, when your frustration turned to desperate curiosity, that you found the letter tucked away in the drawer of his desk. Your fingers trembled as you unfolded itâan acceptance letter to a university abroad.
He hadnât mentioned this. Was he planning to leave? Had he already left?
Youâd looked for him and asked everyone at his house for help but no one seemed to know where he went. They even had to contact his parents and you didnât really expect them to know either, but it was frustrating to hear them say it.
âHave you checked his flat, maâam?â the housekeeper asked.
You blinked. âI thought he moved out of his flat?â
The housekeeper shook his head. âNo, maâam. Heâs been living here again, but that place in the city still belongs to him. Maybe heâs there?â
It wasnât like himânot anymore. Ever since the two of you had gotten closer, you thought the days of him pulling away without warning were over. You had let yourself believe that, anyway. But now, you felt the creeping sense of something breaking, something final.
You commuted back to the city and went straight to his flat. You hated this feelingâthe waiting, the uncertainty. It felt like standing on the edge of something crumbling beneath your feet.
And now here you were, in front of his door, heart pounding as you knocked. You didnât expect him to answer. But, he did.
Mingyu stood there, looking disheveled, dark circles under his eyes like he hadnât slept in days. The sight of him was both a relief and a frustration, all the hurt and confusion swirling inside you.
âWe need to talk,â you said, pushing past him into the apartment before he could say anything.
He closed the door behind you but didnât move. âI know,â he muttered, his voice hoarse.
You turned to face him, crossing your arms. âWhatâs going on, Mingyu? You disappeared. Again. After everything we talked about. After you said you didnât want to keep doing this.â
He ran a hand through his messy hair, looking anywhere but at you. âIâm sorry,â he said, but there was no conviction in his voice.
âThatâs it? Thatâs all you have to say?â Your voice cracked despite your efforts to keep it steady.Â
Mingyu finally looked at you, his expression torn, like he didnât know how to put what he was feeling into words. âI donât know⊠I needed time. I couldnâtââ
âYou always need time, Mingyu,â you interrupted, your frustration boiling over. âYou say you donât want to do this alone, but then you push me away every chance you get. Do you even want me in your life?â
âI do! Iâve never wanted anything else! But I canât⊠Iââ he paused, running his fingers through his hair. âI canât keep dragging you into this.â
âYouâre not dragging me, Mingyu. Iâm here to stay! But if weâre gonna keep having this⊠if youâre gonna keep doing this to me, then whatâs the point?â you asked, the words heavy with your anger and frustration. âIâm sick of this, Mingyu. Arenât you?â
His eyes widened, and you could see the conflict in him. But he didnât answer. He didnât say anything, and that silence hit you harder than anything else.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, taking a step closer to him. âIf you donât want me, just say it. Tell me to go, and I will. But if you want me to stayâŠâ Your voice faltered as you searched his face, desperate for any sign. âTell me to stay, Mingyu. Say it.â
For a long moment, the room was filled with nothing but the sound of your uneven breaths. You waited. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again.
âMingyu, pleaseâŠâ you pleaded, holding back your tears. âJust say âdonât go,â and I wonât,â you added, shaking your head.
Mingyu reached for your face, staring at you with tears in his eyes. Then he pressed his forehead against yours as he sobbed. âIâm sorry.â
Your heart sank, the answer clear even though he never spoke the words. You took a shaky breath, nodding to yourself. âOkay,â you whispered, wiping away a tear that rolled down your cheek. âI get it.â
You backed away and then turned toward the door, your chest aching with every step you took. But before you could reach the handle, you stopped, glancing back one last time, hopingâprayingâthat he would say something, anything, to stop you.
But Mingyu stayed silent. And with that, you walked out with finality in your stride.
To say you were a mess after that was an understatement. You were a wreckâmiserable and sad, wandering through the days like a ghost of your former self. You ran to your friends, crying in their arms for hours, the kind of raw, gut-wrenching sobs that left you breathless. You thought youâd only cry about it for a few days and get over it. But it went on for a whole month.
Some nights, after too many drinks, youâd find yourself dialing his number, the alcohol loosening the grip of reason in your mind. âMingyuuuu,â youâd whine into the phone, your voice slurred and pathetic. âI love you so much! Take me back!â
The next morning, youâd wake up to the shame of your drunken confessions, staring at the ceiling with the weight of regret pressing down on you. Youâd replay the conversations in your mind, cringing at how desperate you sounded, wondering how you let yourself fall apart so completely.
Your friends did their best to pull you out of the darkness, but every attempt felt futile. Youâd join them for outings, but you were barely present, laughing too loudly at jokes that didnât register or staring blankly at the world around you. One night, they dragged you to a party, insisting you needed to have fun. But there you were, clinging to your drink, watching everyone dance and laugh, while the memories of Mingyu spun in your mind. Once the reality set in that he was no longer there to ditch the party with you, you stumbled to the bathroom and locked yourself in, sobbing into your hands as the beat thudded through the walls.
Even the simplest tasks became challenges. Your studies slipped away; assignments piled up, and your grades plummeted. Youâd sit in your lectures, staring at the board but absorbing nothing. Friends would express their concern, but you brushed it off with a half-hearted smile, not wanting to burden them any more than you already had.Â
Eventually, you hit a breaking point. On one particularly dark day, you sat alone in your room, surrounded by empty cans and bottles and crumpled tissues. The realization hit you like a freight train: you couldnât do this anymore. You werenât just grievingâyou were drowning.
In the haze of your despair, you made the impulsive decision to skip the semester and move back home with your family. The thought of facing another day in the city without Mingyu felt unbearable. Packing your things felt like burying a part of yourself, but it was your only option. Every corner of your apartment did nothing to help your move on anyway.
You took one last look of the place where you made the most memories with Mingyu. And as you closed the door, you hoped it would also close that chapter in your life.
Your parents welcomed you with open arms, concerned and confused by your sudden return. You pretended everything was fine, but they noticed the shadows under your eyes, the way you flinched at the slightest mention of your time at university.
In the quiet of your old room, you often found yourself staring at the ceramic bears on your nightstand, remembering the small joy of building a family for these inanimate decors. Your friends tried to reach out, but you brushed them aside, too ashamed to admit how far you had fallen. They understood, giving you the time and space that you needed, knowing you'd be back once things were all better.
And as the weeks passed, something began to shift. The sun shone a little brighter, and the weight of your grief slowly lightened. You spent time with your family, rediscovering old hobbies and connecting with friends who reminded you of who you were before Mingyu. Slowly, you started to feel like yourself again. You laughed more, shared stories, and realized that life still held moments of joy, even in the absence of him.
One day, while cleaning your room, your eyes caught your little bear family, focusing on the grizzly and panda Mingyu had gifted you. Their faces seemed more cheerful now and you felt a bittersweet pang in your chest.Â
Where could Mingyu be right now? How is he? You had no idea, but you wished he was in a better place than before. Somehow, you wish you could at least extend a hand to comfort him, even as a distant friend.
Then an idea came. You picked up the grizzly and the panda, memories flooding backâof laughter, of warmth, of love. But you knew that holding onto them was holding you back. And right now, you didnât really need them anymore.
You wrapped the figurines carefully in bubble wrap and wrote a short note:
âIâm sending these with a happy heart and I hope that instead of bitterness and sorrow, they will bring a smile to your face, just like they did when we first met them. Thank you for the memories. Know that I do not regret meeting you, and if I had to do it again, I would. Although, maybe Iâd make better decisions then. Youâll always have a space in my heart, Gyu. I hope youâre in a better placeâboth in your heart and mind. Love, me <3â
As you dropped the package off at the post office, you felt lighter, liberated. The storm that had raged within you had dissipated, replaced by the gentle promise of new beginnings. You smiled to yourself, knowing that while the past would always be a part of you, it no longer defined you. You were ready to embrace whatever came next. Youâre young, you have a whole life ahead of you.
And if you happen to run into Mingyu again in the future, you hope he will be in better circumstances. Whatever he was going through, you wished heâd get over it and be genuinely happy.
[fin]
#mingyu x reader#mingyu fluff#mingyu fanfic#mingyu x y/n#mingyu x you#seventeen fluff#mingyu smut#seventeen au#seventeen fanfic#seventeen imagines#seventeen smut#svt fluff#svt fanfic#svt fic#svt au#svt#svt mingyu smut#seventeen x reader#seventeen x you#calcali#mingyu imagines#kim mingyu#seventeen scenarios
754 notes
·
View notes
Text
my cards are on the table
written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: family dinner and @steddiebingo prompt: matchmaker | rating: t | cw: 999 | tags: different first meeting, pre season 4, matchmaker wayne munson, soft boys
read on ao3
Christmas at the Munsonâs consists of early dinner on Christmas Eve and opening presents on Christmas morning once Wayne comes back from work.
Itâs been that way since Eddie moved in so when Wayne opens Eddieâs door to tell him to wash up before dinner and casually says he invited someone, Eddie is puzzled.
âYouâ what?â
âKid, you gotta stop listening to your music so loud,â Wayne says gruffly, rolling his eyes good-naturedly.
âAnd you need to explain why you invited someone to dinner!â Eddie demands, narrowing his eyes. âIs it a woman? Are you seeing someone, old man?â
âNot a woman, son, just a kid who does deliveries to the plant sometimes. His folks ainât gonna be around for Christmas so I invited him over.â
Eddieâs lips press into a thin line. Heâs known his uncle is a good man since he took him in. He loves him for it. He just wishes it didnât mean he has to spend Christmas with a stranger.
âFine, but Iâm not dressing up just because someone is coming over!â
âSuit yourself, son, but I think you might wanna.â
Eddie raises his eyebrows. âWhy?â Wayne just shrugs and leaves. âWhy?â He repeats but gets no response.
Thirty minutes later thereâs a knock on the door, and after whining about how this is Wayneâs guest so he should be the one to get the door, Eddie sighs and opens it to revealâ
âSteve Harrington?â Eddie shakes off the shock and flashes him a mocking grin. âWell, well, well, what are you doing on the wrong side of town, Your Highness? Did you get lost?â
The title makes Steveâs nose wrinkle but he lets it slide. âActually, your uncle invited me.â
Eddieâs jaw drops. âYouâre our guest?â
With a shrug, Steve makes a ta-da! gesture. Eddie stares blankly at him.
âUm, are you gonna let me in, Munson, orââ he trails off, hanging a hand from his neck.
âEd? Is that the Harrington boy?â Wayne asks, snapping Eddie out of it.
âUh, yeah. Sorry, come in, man.â
Steve gives him an awkward smile and steps inside.
After shaking Wayneâs hand, he politely asks if he can help and Wayne instructs him to fill three glasses with water. The sight of King Steve with his fancy green sweater and his perfect hair rummaging around their kitchen is so shocking that Eddie wonders if he fell into some alternate dimension. Heâs glad that, despite his claim, he put on a red flannel and decent jeans instead of just sweatpants and a shirt with holes in it like he planned.
Still, Wayne couldâve done a better job warning him.
Not that Eddie wants to look good for Harrington or anything.
âEd, get a chair for Steve,â Wayne says and Eddie dutifully brings the chair they almost never use to the table.
âThanks,â Steve says, smiling softly.
Eddie isnât used to pretty boys being nice to him so thatâs the only reason why he falters, mumbling a youâre welcome and grabbing the seat furthest from Steve. Considering their table is small, itâs not far enough.
Dinner goes- surprisingly well, actually. Steve and Wayne talk about sports while Eddie rolls his eyes and makes comments about sport culture and conformity. He expects Steve to act annoyed like jocks do when he starts ranting, but he smiles amusedly instead.
And no, that doesnât make Eddieâs stomach flutter.
After the sports talk, Wayne asks Eddie about his band. He expects Steve to tune him out since he probably doesnât care what a freak like him does in his free time but he perks up, eyes going wide.
âA band? Thatâs cool, man!â He says and then starts throwing questions at him about the bandâs name and the type of music they play. He even says heâd love to see them play someday.
Wayneâs knowing smile when Eddie blushes thankfully goes unnoticed by Steve.
When theyâre done eating, Steve goes to his car to grab something while Wayne and Eddie clean up.
âReally? You couldnât mention that our guest was Steve?â
âSo you could lock yourself in your room? Youâre the reason I invited him, boy.â
Eddie gasps. âThis was a set up!â
âAbout time you brought a boy home.â
âExcept I didnât!â Eddie sputters. âYou did.â
âYouâre welcome.â
Steve comes back then, clearing his throat. âI know you do presents in the morning, but I still wanted to bring something.â
He gives Wayne a bottle of whiskey that probably costs more than his van and a small bag to Eddie. Inside, thereâs a Beholder miniature.
âHow did youââ
Steve starts rambling. âI know that you run that nerd club and this kid I know is obsessed with that game so I asked him what would be a nice gift for someone like you. He probably thought I was getting it for him and might be disappointed butââ
âThanks, Steve,â Eddie interrupts once he finally finds his words.
Steve gives him a shy smile. And maybe this one makes his heart stutter.
When all they do is stare at each other, Wayne clears his throat.
Flustered, Steve announces heâs heading out. âThanks for inviting me. I havenât had a Christmas dinner in years.â
âYouâre welcome, kid,â Wayne says. âEd, will you see him out? Gotta get ready for my shift.â
âSure, old man.â
At the door, Steve hesitates. âSorry I crashed your Christmas dinner. Your uncle wouldnât take no for an answer.â
Eddie snorts, fiddling with the figurine. âHeâs a stubborn old man.â
âNot that I didnât have fun,â he quickly adds, âI did.â
âYeah, uh, me too.â
Steveâs pink tongue darts out along his bottom lip.
âLike, enough fun that I could do it again.â
Eddie stops fidgeting and blinks at him. âHang out with me and my uncle?â
âOr just you,â Steve says and he looksâ almost nervous.
Oh.
Thereâs no denying the butterflies in his stomach this time. âYeah,â Eddie says, watching Steve start to smile. âIâd like that.â
#steddie#steddie fic#steddieholidaydrabbles#steddiebingo2025#look at wayne getting a boy for his boy!#steve harrington#eddie munson#stranger things#stranger things fic#monse writes
722 notes
·
View notes